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disappointing.
16 years ago
General
i hate how much this fandom thinks about sex and how high a priority it is for so many. it's rediculous. half the drama in this fandom somehow originates from someone thinking with the wrong head and getting in trouble for it.
now what brings all this up? a while back, i got a random message from a fur that's going to stay unnamed. (no, it wasn't K.) we'd talked a few times, he cheered me up one night when i was feeling down, we'd rp'd a couple times, because while, yes, i do criticize this fandom for thinking with it's dick too much, i do in fact have one myself, though it's not as high a priority. so this evening, he messaged me and we were talking, he sent me some pics, and he started talking about things he would want to do to and with me and my mate if he could come visit. one of these things was topping me, even though, as anyone who know's my mate will already know, topping me is something that the two of us had agreed was a mate only thing. i told him this, and his immediate response was "sorry for wasting your time, i'll leave you be". WTF? after further questioning, i did in fact find out that the reason he was talking to me was so that he could stick it to me, and now that he knew it wouldn't happen, he was planning on slinking away because he apparently can't take the temptation and it would frustrate him too much. so basically, this guy came off as a friend, for the sole purpose of wanting to get me in the sack.
what the hell happened to friendship? i know for damn sure two people can have a happy, heathy relationship as friends without having to have sex! i've got several relationships that are like that. just friends, no sex. what's so wrong about that? i've heard from a few furs lately with stories like, "well, i know he's a disgusting slut, but i keep him around because he's an easy lay" or, "what his mate doesn't know won't hurt him" and i have to just step back and shake my head in frustration that so many people participate in crap like this and sadness because i loved this fandom when i found it, and the longer i stay in this fandom and the more involved that i get, the more i find out about things that just make me disappointed and ashamed to be a part of it. i'm not saying i'm leaving the fandom, i'm just getting a little overwhelmed by the stupidity.
i need a smoke. XP
now what brings all this up? a while back, i got a random message from a fur that's going to stay unnamed. (no, it wasn't K.) we'd talked a few times, he cheered me up one night when i was feeling down, we'd rp'd a couple times, because while, yes, i do criticize this fandom for thinking with it's dick too much, i do in fact have one myself, though it's not as high a priority. so this evening, he messaged me and we were talking, he sent me some pics, and he started talking about things he would want to do to and with me and my mate if he could come visit. one of these things was topping me, even though, as anyone who know's my mate will already know, topping me is something that the two of us had agreed was a mate only thing. i told him this, and his immediate response was "sorry for wasting your time, i'll leave you be". WTF? after further questioning, i did in fact find out that the reason he was talking to me was so that he could stick it to me, and now that he knew it wouldn't happen, he was planning on slinking away because he apparently can't take the temptation and it would frustrate him too much. so basically, this guy came off as a friend, for the sole purpose of wanting to get me in the sack.
what the hell happened to friendship? i know for damn sure two people can have a happy, heathy relationship as friends without having to have sex! i've got several relationships that are like that. just friends, no sex. what's so wrong about that? i've heard from a few furs lately with stories like, "well, i know he's a disgusting slut, but i keep him around because he's an easy lay" or, "what his mate doesn't know won't hurt him" and i have to just step back and shake my head in frustration that so many people participate in crap like this and sadness because i loved this fandom when i found it, and the longer i stay in this fandom and the more involved that i get, the more i find out about things that just make me disappointed and ashamed to be a part of it. i'm not saying i'm leaving the fandom, i'm just getting a little overwhelmed by the stupidity.
i need a smoke. XP
Yeah, I think your rant just goes for ppl in general, I wouldn't say that's primarily a furry thing..
This is where I normally cue in my usual "God damn furries..."
Seriously, I'm, like, one of the most non-sexual people in the fandom; in real life. Sure, I like my porn and all, but in order to really get me to -want- to have any sexual realations with someone would take a good bit of alchohol (Jägermeister, specifically) or for me to be very strongly emotionally attracted to a person.
Either way, hon', you've got a friend in me. <3
I'll just never understand how desperate some people are for a lay. I want sex as much as the next guy, but come on.
And now there's a million people that joined strictly for the yiff.
You need to be careful who you talk to. Not only that, but there's a LOT of std's going around.
I'm not gonna mention any names either, but I know a bunch of furs that disgust me in this way.
on the other side of the fence though, i have fostered plenty of platonic furry relationships, that never even ha a whim of sex. Now I don't go explicitly looking for sex, aka, cruising at cons or the interwebs, I have a mate and our relationship is open so if the opportunity or temptation arose, I could act upon it in a safe manner and not really have to worry about sneaking around behind his back. Sex usually finds me, not the other way around, and i think it should be more of a spontaneous thing within the fandom instead of a downright predatory one.
The most DISTURBING thing is the lack of maturity when sex is added into the midsts, nobody can handle it. It turns into a drama fest and slowly morphs into an ugly game of "he did this, she did that."
*shakes her head sadly*
and most of them can't separate RL from online or friendship and sex and love.
miss ya foxy.
we're a dying breed sweety...being gay and looking good while you do it is rarer now than ever before, and being a hottie carries a hefty price.
everyone you ever meet...ever...will think about you in bed, giving them what they want...its a little easier for rugged 'butch' fellas like me, but once someone in RL knows I'm gay the bets are off and its a question of how careful I am to make sure they know Im attached. It helps defuse situations where people I would never do anything with are clearly interested in more than I can or would give.
it isnt just the fur world...its gay/str8/whatever...sex is always on the mind for some people, and when you are attractive you will have to screen people that much more carefully because of it
good luck with it tho...the upside is that you will always have plenty of people to pick from until you find just the one you want!