Hey everybody. Long time no journal.

The main reason for this is that I had 4 weeks of vacation in June and July, and I have currently been back to work for 2 weeks.

I have to admit, I have done almost nothing except lounge around and enjoy myself my whole vacation. Well, maybe not the first week which I spent with a bad Cold (darnit!), but the other 3 weeks, solid gold. I even got some much-needed re-planting and construction done on my garden and back yard. And the sun has been non-stop shining the whole time. Granted, the lack of rain has hurt the local farming scene, but overall, I'd call it a plus.

All things said and done, it's probably been the best vacation I have had in years. I didn't feel like I wasted a single day and I came back to work with a smile on my face and working like a tornado. The downside is, I haven't really felt inspired to write, and since Karno's worked through his buffer of page scripts, that meant no new HtbD pages this month. I'm getting back into the swing of things now and we should be back in business this August. I'm sorry for the lack of content, but I have to say, I really loved this break and apparently I needed it more than I thought.

Well, this flow of good vibes got a pretty serious knock on its head in the afternoon of last Thursday, July 26th.

I live in the South-west tip of Sweden, and we have great beaches here. We also have a Canal, with 2 piers on either side of it with Little lighthouses at the ends of them. I have dived from and swimmed by the pier closest to where my family camps on the beach since I was a teenager. I even have a standing tradition that I jump of the wall around the lighthouse into the Waters below at least once per summer. This has some slight risks if the current is going out, but I know how to be careful.

Now, on this particular day I had "comped out" from work 3 hours early (I have a lot of overtime saved up) and went straight to the beach to join the family for some sun and bathing in the ocean. Well, around 4PM I decided that I wanted to jump from the pier, and my mom, ever so worried about me, decided to come with. We walk over the beach and out onto the pier (it's about 700 yards from the beach to the lighthouse), when my mom draws my attention to this lady swimming alongside the outside of the pier. We both see that she is swimming very weirdly, with almost no coordination and she's mostly going in little circles. We both smell trouble and we shout out to her, asking if she needs help. No response, and her motions are now starting to slow down in a very alarming way. By now a few guys a bit further in on the side of the pier has noticed her as well, and are looking on with some alarm, wondering what to do, some of them shouting as well. A few more moments, and I can tell that this is going to end in a drowning if nobody does something.

I look outward the pier towards the lighthouse; closest people is at least 50 yards away and doesn't seem to have noticed anything yet. I look out to the water past the lady and there are several boats anchored a bit further out, but I can't see anybody on them. I look inland and I see the three guys about 15 yards from us, but they're just standing there watching with nervous looks on their face.

And then it hits me.

Nobody is going to jump in first.

Ah crap.

Decision made in that split instant, I hand over my glasses and my towel to my mom and I start making my way down the pier as fast but as safely as I can. Now, this pier is a serious piece of work if you're careless. It has a flat concrete surface about a yard and a half wide at the top, which then turns into a diagonal slope about 5 yards long down into the water, but it's made out of huge block that are only *sorta* flat, and there are gaps between some of them where if you step wrong in a hurry, you *will* snap your leg clean in half. Below that are more boulders under the water line, and they are so slick with seaweed it's like walking on wet ice.

In short, a pretty hazardous terrain when you're in a hurry, and I certainly was, but I had to weigh taking too long to get to the now-drowning lady against slipping on the rocks and breaking a leg (or worse) and therefore making myself useless to the situation.

Soon enough, but what still felt like way too long I get into the water and start doing the freestyle stroke out to the lady as fast as I can, all the way thinking "please be fast enough, please be fast enough, please be fast enough". By the time I reach the lady she is full-on floundering, but she's still spitting out water, which is a good sign. I try to get her attention but she is not noticing me at all, so I grab her with one arm under her chest ("don't grab them around the neck or you'll suffocate them" I remember someone teaching me), and try to swim to the pier.

This immediately proves to be impossible as the lady is completely flailing about in a panic now, and it's taking everything I have just to keep us afloat. Now the mantra running in circles in my head has become "Keep her head above the water", but she is rolling every which way, pulling me down under with her a few times.

Somehow I remember that there is a new lifeguard tower near the pier, and praying that they're watching, I stop swimming with one arm to wave it above our heads, trying to get their attention. Problem is, I was using that arm to keep us afloat, and I have no time for more than 3 waves or so before we both dunk under the water again, and I get my first taste of seawater. Okay, that's not going to work.

I resume keeping us both afloat, and I'm trying to get closer to the pier, but it's feeling like we're moving inches at a time at most (I've lost most spatial awareness by this Point), and the thought that crosses my mind is "Where the fuck IS everybody?! Am I ALONE out here?!" And I start screaming (as best I can) for help. The lady is still non-responsive and flailing and I'm starting to get tired. Now, I have a pretty physical job, I'm in pretty good shape and I've been swimming since I was a kid, but this is an entirely new level of exertion, one that my stable-working body is apparently not handling very well. At this Point, I am seriously starting to Think that me drowning next to her is actually a real possibility, and the thought pops into my head "If she starts dragging me down, am I going to kick her off to save myself and let her drown?". That was a really horrifying realization, that I could think that in such a situation.

Now, I'm approaching exhaustion, having taken a few mouthfulls of seawater, cradling a woman who (to my best efforts) is still in danger of drowning, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm goign to do the same. I'm only running on pure stubbornness right now, but things are looking grim.

Then, I notice someone else swimming towards me. One of the guys from the pier has come to help! Huzzah! He reaches us, and we both put one arm under her ribs and swim towards the pier for dear Life. Again, not making much apparent progress, but at least we're working together. A chance glance towards land lets me see someone in a redshirt lying on a yellow board swimming towards us at full speed! The lifeguard is coming to the rescue! YES!!!

And then things get worse.

The lady stops moving entirely.

Oh FUCK!

Now, I started out my career as a seaman, and drowning (and hypothermia incidentally this far North) is considered an occupational hazard, so I have been trained in how the process works. Basically, when a drowning person stops moving, this does not mean that they are *entirely* dead. It *does* however mean that they are starting to die, and you only have minutes before brain damage occurs and then eventually death. The clock was now ticking and it's all I and the other guy can do to just keep her afloat. I practically WILLED that lifeguard to swim faster for goodness sake before this lady starts having brain damage.

After another seeming-eternity she reaches us, and goddamn is this girl professional. No more than a teenager, but she instantly rolled off her board, then dragged the lady's limp arm across the board, then in one smooth action rolled the board again, dragging the lady up on it. NICE! I am so relieved that help has arrived, but the lady starts slipping off again. I can't help the lady now, but I can help the lifeguard, so I grab hold of the board with one hand and put the other on the lady's hip and SHOVE her into position so she's now steady on the board. It is at this point that I get an up-close look on the lady's face. Leather-y brown skin, thinning hair, in her 60's or there about (looks a bit like my mom actually). But her eyes are wide open and glazed over, looking right at me. I see a line of white foam dribbling down from the side of her mouth and I think "Oh God, am I staring into the eyes of a corpse right now?".

The lifeguard takes off as a shot, and I figure that my part in this is done. Time to get back to the pier… which is when I notice that I'm way more tired that I thought. Forget freestyle, I'm barely keeping afloat, and the thought occurs to me that it'd be pretty stupid to save one person from drowning only for me to take her Place. But I'm way too tired to Think of what I'd look like, so I flipped over on my back, took a Deep breath and then just floated for a bit. Aaaah, much better. My arms were like leadweights.

A moment of two of that, then I flip back upright and swim very slowly to the stone of the pier. A few of the other guy's friend have come down to the water and they help drag my coughing and exhausted carcass, in fits and starts up to the middle of the pier, at which point I decide I need a lie-down. I haven't felt this tired in years, and it's all I can do just to breathe steadily. I manage to turn my head towards shore, and there I see a stretcher, 4 guys on each side, hauling ass up the dune towards the parking lot, and that felt good to see. If the lady was dead I don't Think they'd be in such a hurry.

By now me and the other 2 guys (apparently a 3rd guy showed up around the time the lifeguard did, but I barely noticed him) have started to attract a crowd, everyone saying we did a great job, but all I can Think of, inbetween the coughing fits, is how damn thirsty I am. A bottle of water and slices of watermelon are produced out of somewhere and the drenched heroes just try to get our breath back.

After a while a colleague of the lifeguard show up, and tells us that the lady got CPR on the beach, and she was both breathing and talking as they hauled her off in the ambulance. I felt real good to hear that, but I also know that she'd gone lifeless for a bit there, and I really hope there's no brain damage.

After that one of the ambulance crew walk up and check on us (we're fine, just out of breath), but he still wants us to come in to shore so he can check our vitals. Along with him is a guy in a survival wetsuit (not sure what his job was), who also asks if we're okay, and when we say yes, he says that the police will probably want to take our statements. Fair enough, we get up, but my legs were like jelly so it was kind of a shuffle up to the shore. Walking over the loose gravel of the parking lot barefoot was especially fun.

Problem is, as the police is taking my statement, I'm starting to come down off the adrenaline, and the shock is starting to wear off. Along with a severe tingling in the fingertips and toes, I start going into fits of insane giggling, which inevitably slides into sobbing fits, accompanied by severe shaking in the hands. I must have seemed properly mental, but the cop doesn't look surprised by this and calls the medic over, who starts taking my vitals. I'm hyper-ventilating at this Point, as some part of me must've realized that I just had a brush with Death and a lot of signals are getting crossed in my brain. The medic takes my pulse, heart-rate and blood-sugar levels, then gives me two sugar tablets and advise me to breathe calmly. I lean back in my chair and do just that, helped by some fresh water from mom. I drank like a frikkin Camel I was so thirsty. Guess I got more saltwater in me than I thought.

After a while I start to level out, and the medic says I'm okay to leave, but I shouldn't be alone tonight. The cops offer to drive me and mom home, which I happily accept, 'cause I'm still not in any state to be riding my bike home right now. We get in and the police are actually nice enough to drive us to our beach hut first to pick up our gear, then we get driven straight to my front door, me sucking on the sugar tablets the whole way and thinking to myself "Don't fart in the nice police people's nice car." The things that bubble up in your brain in situations like this.

I'm still trying to Catch my breath, so I give mom the house keys while I sit down in one of my porch chairs and just Breathe. I make a call or two and call in some friends, who show up promptly once they hear what's happened, 'cause I need to go through this shit Before it melts my brain. Once evrybody's there, I go through Everything, telling the whole tale, interrupted by the occasional Crying spat (that still hurt), just letting it all out there. After two hours or so, the whole tale is out, and I feel like a wrung-out dishrag, so I stay in the porch chair for the rest of the afternoon, too tired to keep my Eyes open but too wired to fall asleep. An odd state for me to be in. Mom says she's spending the night on my couc no buts accepted and I'm grateful. To my surprise, that night's Dream featured a lot of water, but wasn't a nightmare.

Thursday I go back to work, despite my mom's arguing, 'cause honest work helps keep a man's head off the bad stuff. The boss has heard (through a friend) what happened yesterday, and she let's me comp out after half the workday with a lightened workload which I was very grateful for, 'cause my muscles were still a bit shot. So, Clock out, drive home, get out of the workclothes, then down to the beach, a Quick swim and a wash, then I spend the rest of the afternoon in my chair. No more excitement for me thank you.

Friday is pretty much the same; work half the day, comp out, then down to the beach, but when I get there the wind has picked up and my family isn't there, so I go home and sleep in my hammock.

Saturday afternoon and I'm back dow on the beach with the family, and I feel like diving again, so I walk down to the pier, alone this time since it's a bit late and mom wants to stay put, but thankfully nothing exciting happened (I kept a nervous eye off the side of the pier the whole way out though) and I did a few dives into the warm water. Sweet.

On the way back, I decided I wanted to shake the female lifguard's hand, 'cause she had really done a good job, but she wasn't in the first watchtowe, but the next one, which was past my family's usual spot. I walk by, drop off my towel and proceed to the lifeguard HQ. It's now nearly 5PM, so they're about to Clock out for the day, but she was thankfully still there and we talked for a bit. She was a skiny Little thing but she had my respect and I told her she'd done a great job (when I was getting into the ambulance I had seen her being lead away by a colleague, leaning on his shoulder as she cried her Eyes out, so she was in a bas bad a shape as me). While we're talking a lady walks up and wants to talk to her, and since I now know intimately how important a job these lifeguards do, I stand off to the side… and then I hear this:

"I just wanted to thank you so much for pulling me out of the water."

My heads snaps to her like it's on a swivel! IT'S HER! THE LADY WHO ALMOST DROWNED!!

I cut in by saying she looks a lot better than the last time I saw her, she realizes who I am and gives me an iron hug. She's there with her husband and we start getting her side of the story. Apparently she was doing an excercise swim when she got a mouthfull of water in her lungs and then couldn't get it out again, since she was in too Deep water to reach the bottom (it was at this Point that I noticed her). She apparently has no memories of what happened from when she panicked to when she woke up on the beach. She'd been told that a few guys had jumped in and helped keep her afloat until the lifeguard, but apparently nobody could remember our names. Still, I'm glad to be here now to meet her.

I give my side of the story, shake the hands of the lifeguard, the lady and her husbands, then walk back to the family. Along the way I can't help but me amazed at the long odds this lady just Went through.

For one thing, I wasn't supposed to have been there. When she was starting to drown I should have still been at work. If I hadn't gotten the suggestion from my boss to comp out, I wouldn't have been at the beach. What if I had decided to not go to the pier that day, or just when I did?

If I hadn't been there, would anybody else have noticed her floundering? She was right between two groups of people on the pier (three if you count the anchored boats), and a fair distance from both, and she could easily have been missed by either Group until she'd drowned.

Would anyone else have reached her in time? I was the first one to jump in and I hesitated for a few seconds, and it was only after my mom berated several of them that one jumped in after me, and I was alone with her for several long seconds.

If she had gone out just a half-hour later, the lifeguards would have gone off their shift and there wouldn't have been anyone to call the ambulance or fetch her out of the water.

Seriously, that lady beat some *Heavy* odds against her that day.

And my meeting with her? If I had done *anything* differently, *anything* to make me 10 minutes later or earlier, I would never have met her (probably).

These are the kind of odds that makes a man wonder.

Sunday afternoon it occured to me that I never bought any papers to see if this incident was mentioned in them. Just didn't occur to me.

I was shown an article by another friend on Sunday that showed that 6 people had drowned that Thursday in the entire country, a number unsurpassed in *decades*. Yikes. I'm just glad I helped it from becoming 7. ( https://www.msn.com/sv-se/nyheter/i.....AQP?li=BBqxCu3 )

---

So there you have it folks. My Life for the last few weeks. It's… been a bit eventful.

Sincerely sorry for the lack of updates, but like I said above, my muse has either been in a vacation-coma or in shock, so, Karno hasn't gotten any new page scripts to work on, but I'm getting my feet back under me now and I hope to be back to business as usual in August.

Take care out there, and stay safe.