My mother died about a year ago. I love the hell out of my dad, and he and I live together now. I keep him fed, because he never learned to cook, and our house is affordable because he served in the Airborne infantry in Vietnam and the US government still helps it's retired soldiers (who lived) with the essentials of life.

I suffer from insomnia. It's not at all uncommon for me to wake up at 2 or 3 in the morning and be completely unable to get back to sleep. This isn't a terrible burden, i know. It's what you would call a "first world problem". I go to my job in a dinner restaurant exhausted and power through my shift. I get home at 10:30 at night and hope for four solid hours of sleep and life goes on, right?

I miss my mother. Like me, she stayed awake most nights. I'd wake up at 3am and she'd be watching tv and drinking a glass of brandy. We'd watch an old movie, or a BBC show (Are you Being Served was mom and my favorite). My Chow Chow Beauty would sit with us. Mom and Beauty died within months of each other. Now when I wake up in the middle of the night I'm alone. Again, it's not the end of the world. I power through my day and pay my bills and love the hell out of my 70 year old father, who's probably suffering worse than I am with the death of his wife of four decades. It's just hard.

Sorry my journal is such a downer. I promised I'd update more often than I have been. Hopefully the next one will be better. I love you all,my silly fuzzy friends!! *mouse hugs*

I promise I'm okay!