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Taral Wayne Speculations
16 years ago
General
I haven't heard from Taral Wayne since he lost the Hugo award for the 8th time last Sunday to Frank Wu. I hope he's not on a bender...
Here's some speculations.
AP - JILTED ARTIST ARRESTED IN NINJA SUIT
8 time Hugo award loser Taral Wayne was arrested dressed in a Ninja suit by Brookline MA police today at 2 AM outside winner Frank Wu's apartment and is being held pending a hearing.
'It's pretty clear what his intentions were' said a Police spokesperson, 'He had one of those karate swords with him.'
- or -
From the WorldCon Archives circa 2020
'2009 - Taral Wayne 'incident' at the Hugos.
"We 'ad to trank him like a Rhino at da ZOO! 'e ignored da tazers, eh? And da pepper spray just seemed ta piss 'im off!" a Montreal Police spokesperson said after artist Taral Wayne went berserk after losing the Best Fan Artist award for the eighth time.
"We needed da Jaws of Life to break da 'eadlock 'e had on dat uder art geek Frank Wu. 'e then picked up Officer Mongo, 'o weighs like treefifty pounds eh?, over 'is head and trew 'im da length of da room. It was pretty impressive, for sure! We got da whole ting on da security cameras."
Mr Wayne is currently being held pending a psychiatric examination. He is undergoing a course of treatment described as 'lots of Thorazine'
(Aside - Police Division Christmas party. Lots of drunk cops standing around a TV monitor.
"'ey Mongo! 'Dis is where you get owned by dat art geek, eh?"
"Shuddup!")
- or -
AP - SPURNED ARTIST DESTROYS WORLDCON HOTEL
8 time Hugo award loser Taral Wayne destroyed the Montreal Delta Hotel today after undergoing a fantastic transformation during the ceremony.
"After the award was announced and we all realized he lost AGAIN, he CHANGED!" eyewitnesses report.
"He got madder and madder then he turned GREEN - He started to get bigger and bigger, and his shirt and shoes exploded but his PANTS stayed on - they turned purple though, we don't know how THAT happened!
The only word I have for it is 'Incredible'"
The transformed Mr Wayne then allegedly began a rampage, destroying the entire hotel while bellowing "TARAL SMASH!"
The fantastic figure was last seen headed for the south eastern United States while traveling in huge bounds.
"Best freak-out EVER" One portly eyewitness was heard to proclaim. "I shall be on the Internet, registering my AWE."
Here's some speculations.
AP - JILTED ARTIST ARRESTED IN NINJA SUIT
8 time Hugo award loser Taral Wayne was arrested dressed in a Ninja suit by Brookline MA police today at 2 AM outside winner Frank Wu's apartment and is being held pending a hearing.
'It's pretty clear what his intentions were' said a Police spokesperson, 'He had one of those karate swords with him.'
- or -
From the WorldCon Archives circa 2020
'2009 - Taral Wayne 'incident' at the Hugos.
"We 'ad to trank him like a Rhino at da ZOO! 'e ignored da tazers, eh? And da pepper spray just seemed ta piss 'im off!" a Montreal Police spokesperson said after artist Taral Wayne went berserk after losing the Best Fan Artist award for the eighth time.
"We needed da Jaws of Life to break da 'eadlock 'e had on dat uder art geek Frank Wu. 'e then picked up Officer Mongo, 'o weighs like treefifty pounds eh?, over 'is head and trew 'im da length of da room. It was pretty impressive, for sure! We got da whole ting on da security cameras."
Mr Wayne is currently being held pending a psychiatric examination. He is undergoing a course of treatment described as 'lots of Thorazine'
(Aside - Police Division Christmas party. Lots of drunk cops standing around a TV monitor.
"'ey Mongo! 'Dis is where you get owned by dat art geek, eh?"
"Shuddup!")
- or -
AP - SPURNED ARTIST DESTROYS WORLDCON HOTEL
8 time Hugo award loser Taral Wayne destroyed the Montreal Delta Hotel today after undergoing a fantastic transformation during the ceremony.
"After the award was announced and we all realized he lost AGAIN, he CHANGED!" eyewitnesses report.
"He got madder and madder then he turned GREEN - He started to get bigger and bigger, and his shirt and shoes exploded but his PANTS stayed on - they turned purple though, we don't know how THAT happened!
The only word I have for it is 'Incredible'"
The transformed Mr Wayne then allegedly began a rampage, destroying the entire hotel while bellowing "TARAL SMASH!"
The fantastic figure was last seen headed for the south eastern United States while traveling in huge bounds.
"Best freak-out EVER" One portly eyewitness was heard to proclaim. "I shall be on the Internet, registering my AWE."
Frank is expected to be off his crutches and out of the neck brace in just a few weeks. And the hotel was a dump anyway.