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Huge update.
7 years ago
General
Hey, it's been a while hasn't it? All I have done is post adopt things and such, there's a reason for that.. Well not really, it's all I felt like putting up at the time.
My profile has been changing, I am learning people come and go and there is honestly nothing I can do about it. I will be signing up for classes starting in december which is a year long program for DBT; my therapist suggested it, since he runs the whole thing.
What I have learned over the past few months is that, a lot of people either care about you or they don't really care and just keep you around because they feel like it. At least, that's what my mind understands. See, I have mental problems, in a way that, I learn things differently than others. I am also on edge a lot of the time due to past abuse and other things; abuse that I am still trying to get over; that was caused by my family, and by friends growing up.
I have Major Depression Disorder, ADHD, PTSD, Fibro, Heat intolerance, memory issues, and a whole slew of other things that I don't really feel like explaining. I have learned, because of these problems, that I have no control over; even my Anxiety issues; which I again have no control over, tend to get in the way of functioning normal. I am Nero-divergent and honestly I wouldn't change that for the world. I do go to therapy, I do have some ways of coping with things, I am only human.
Honestly, the world needs... more mindfulness, more kindness out there. I have seen my own family slowly give up, my own mother almost give up; just.. Listen to people when they need it. Reach out to them because one day they won't ever be there anymore. Even if bridges are burned, even if something doesn't work out; sometimes just sitting and talking it out will fix a lot of things.
I never understood human emotions and I still don't. A lot of time I always feel things are my fault or that I am in the wrong, on a daily basis, more than I would like to be honest. I always end up putting other people before myself, and a lot of times that bites me in the butt. Anyways; I just needed to get something out there. I will be having my chest surgery on December 21st this year; I had to move the date up due to my mental health. Which is a slow process on working on, but I am doing it.
Can I tell you trying to deal with anything in the adult world is exhausting? because it is..
Also shout-out to my amazing partner who has been there for me through everything, I love you babe, that will never change.
So; if you made it this far in reading my journal, I congrat you; because I know I wouldn't lmao. I will be hopefully going to Midwest Furfest this year! I plan on doing the artist alley so look forward to that! I plan on opening up pre-orders for Badges in which you can pick up in person if you are going to the con! Or I can ship them, either way I don't mind. I have a few other things planned as well, I am going to be completely reworking my account, or just changing accounts all together. I need a fresh start, something that I can wrap my mind around. I do plan on getting back into art, but I honestly want to do more traditional means. Sometimes I will do digital, but pencils are a lot more fun to work with.
You are all amazing and wonderful, and know, I am here my notes are always open; if you are ever having a bad day, feel free to drop me a note because I would rather know someone is living another day than sitting here silent and avoiding the world. You are important and amazing, the world needs you all. Stay awesome my friends.
;3
but I'm glad, you've been able to sit down and take perspective?I Think taking a class or so will be a good thing! Sometimes having that mental distraction is an amazing thing, especially w/ some things that make you feel like you're accomplishing something and give you a reason to pat yourself on the back and realize what a great thing you're accomplishing. Going to a fest/con sounds like a fun break in things too and I hope it ends up being a super memorable time