So last few months been a bit inactive here, even been inactive/distracted on discord.... Any way been having so much health issues I am concerned, but everytime before I get someone to verify that the illness is not in my head it goes away.

So I been sitting and observing taking notes so I will know if/when I will need medical attention if the need arises, so far it hasn't but the relief is being drowned out by my being insecure and that triggers reactions in my mind maybe it is all in my head... I don't know.

Anyway I have been feeling like shit for 3 months and subconsciously pushing people out, not like trying to, but definitely had a drifting effect and that solidified my insecurities more... I am a partial wreck at the moment so until I feel like being social again, I am going on a break and have a full on get away from art or any social interacions... It might be counterproductive, but I would have enough sense to know that I am pushing people away, instead of letting a slow drift send me through the mud.

So going to leave this journal up for anyone who cres and will be deactivating the account in 5 days or maybe a week I don't know so good bye until I can pick myself back up.