What a great way to start the day.

I was tired after this week and I wanted to sleep in today so I slept until like 12 pm, but then my mom just barged in like a tornado or something and started yelling at me saying stuff like I can't sit at my fucking box (pc) all day and rot, I have responsibilites, I'm worthless etc. (even though obviously that's not what I do all the time)
after that I was scared to get on my pc because I was terrified of what she might do to me, so I waited until she went out in town. My dad came back by then and of course we started talking about this and then I just suddenly exploded with feelings, I started crying and shouting to leave me alone. Because my bottled up emotions just had to be let out now for fucks sake, not when everyone was asleep and I could cry myself to sleep which would be more convenient.

The thing is that my mother always had problems with her temper and I'm kinda used to being yelled at or even getting hit by doing the tiniest mistakes or forgetting something. I'm scared all the time of doing something wrong, but I guess it's not that bad.. However recently I noticed she's been getting a little bit more abusive.. It might be because soon I'll become and adult (I'm not exactly happy about it and I get anxious whenever I think about it) but I'm not really sure..

You don't need to worry I don't have abusive parents or anything, it's just my mother's temper that kind of traumatizes me and I'm honestly more fond of my father, even though he's not really great at parenting and he's at work most of the time. I just find him more close to me and I can talk to him about anything, because he understands me, perhaps we just have very similar personalities. I still love my mother, but there's just... Things that could be changed to make life easier..


I needed to vent, just ignore me. I know other people might have it worse and I'm sorry.