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Holding Yourself Back [Anxiety, Limited Spell Slots and Art]
7 years ago
Hi everyone!
I think this is my first journal about actual real stuff.
Not sure if this is going to be super coherant but figured it could be useful to get it out.
I get in my own way. I hold myself back. Why?
Have you guys heard of the energy = spoons analogy? I like it. But I prefer spell slots.
As I'm sure many of you know, creating art takes a lot of spell slots. Over the last few months I've been experiencing mild anxiety and likely depression (this is self diagnosed, mind), which means I feel like I have fewer spell slots to begin with. Then I have to spend even more to do "normal" things, like get out of bed at a reasonable time, or shower. I feel like I'm wiped out by the time I get downstairs to make a cup of tea.
How does this hold me back? Well, since I've already spent spell slots by then, when I get around to working on art, I only have energy to work on them for short amounts of time.
So I've been slow. The kicker? I get anxious about being slow, so I get locked up and that prevents me from putting what little amount of spell slots I have into making art, cause I know I only have a finite amount.
My pace has slowed considerably and the thing is, when it comes to my commissions, I want to deliver something that looks good! But that takes more time than it used to.
So I want to give those waiting for work ( coppahk-9, warg and laarx ) a [b]HUGE THANK YOU![b] for being patient, the work is coming! I just have limited spell slots.
Everybody who's commissioned me since I started focusing on furry art, you've been amazing.
Nobody who's ever commissioned me has pressured me with deadlines, so whatever pressure and resulting anxiety I feel comes from ME. Which is ass-backwards. Creating art is something I LOVE.
Anyway, I'll end that there because it feels like it could go on forever haha. Thanks for all of the watches/faves/comments, it really means a lot.
Anyone else experience this before or is experiencing it? Any advice?
- Theo
I think this is my first journal about actual real stuff.
Not sure if this is going to be super coherant but figured it could be useful to get it out.
I get in my own way. I hold myself back. Why?
Have you guys heard of the energy = spoons analogy? I like it. But I prefer spell slots.
As I'm sure many of you know, creating art takes a lot of spell slots. Over the last few months I've been experiencing mild anxiety and likely depression (this is self diagnosed, mind), which means I feel like I have fewer spell slots to begin with. Then I have to spend even more to do "normal" things, like get out of bed at a reasonable time, or shower. I feel like I'm wiped out by the time I get downstairs to make a cup of tea.
How does this hold me back? Well, since I've already spent spell slots by then, when I get around to working on art, I only have energy to work on them for short amounts of time.
So I've been slow. The kicker? I get anxious about being slow, so I get locked up and that prevents me from putting what little amount of spell slots I have into making art, cause I know I only have a finite amount.
My pace has slowed considerably and the thing is, when it comes to my commissions, I want to deliver something that looks good! But that takes more time than it used to.
So I want to give those waiting for work ( coppahk-9, warg and laarx ) a [b]HUGE THANK YOU![b] for being patient, the work is coming! I just have limited spell slots.
Everybody who's commissioned me since I started focusing on furry art, you've been amazing.
Nobody who's ever commissioned me has pressured me with deadlines, so whatever pressure and resulting anxiety I feel comes from ME. Which is ass-backwards. Creating art is something I LOVE.
Anyway, I'll end that there because it feels like it could go on forever haha. Thanks for all of the watches/faves/comments, it really means a lot.
Anyone else experience this before or is experiencing it? Any advice?
- Theo
So keep up the work! Go at your own pace, don't overwork yourself or procrastinate too much. Your work is fantastic, and while I know that's not something a person tends to "hear" when they're depressed or anxious, it's the truth. :3