This is a kind of follow up to my holiday rant I posted about 10 months ago.

To refresh on that, my cat Bob was very sick with kidney/bladder issues. One morning his bladder was blocked and unable to go so I took him to my vet for an emergency operation. This operation was going to be 2k which I didn't have, so I surrendered Bob to the vet so he could get his surgery. It was a huge blow to me and my husband and we took a long time to heal from the loss of our cat. In the meantime we bonded more with our remaining cat, Bunny.

Now to two weeks ago. Apparently the person who adopted Bob (We were not allowed to have any contact or know anything about what happened to Bob after his surrender) had lost him and he was found by a woman in Merced. Even though I surrendered my cat, his microchip is still registered to my name, so last week I was very surprised to get an e-mail saying my cat was found!!!

This blew my mind in a few ways: First, the fact that I got the e-mail in the first place. I had mourned this cat and accepted that I would never hear about him again. I dreamed about getting reunited with him, but knew that those thoughts were only dreams and wishful thinking. Second, that he was ALIVE and somehow survived getting separated from whatever person who owned him after me. It wasn't a mysterey now, I knew he survived the surgery and was living doing who knows what for 10 months. How was his new owner? When did he run away? How long was he living on the streets? Was he hurt, scared? Was Bob the same sweet cat I knew?

My sweet husband made all the calls and got it so that I could take Bob home. Not only was he found, alive and sort of well, but we could take him home again. I moved on from his surrender and now I was going to get him back. I still need to ask my husband how he managed to work that out, what with the contracts I signed and all that. I'll spare you from those details.

Yesterday I drove from Fresno to Merced to get my cat back. Now the lady who found Bob, I didn't realize that she got attached to him as well. When she called me to arrange his pickup, I didn't notice she was sniffling. She was under the impression she could keep this sweet kind boy that turned up on her doorstep and now I was coming to take him away from her. I felt so many things when I took him back.

I know how horrid it feels to give up a pet, and now I was doing it to this kind human being who willingly allowed me to take back my cat. I did that to her, yet I missed Bob for so long, even my husband who is very stoic was crying when he got the news that we could get him back. I talked with the lady about Bob's story, and it crushed me and it still feels terrible to take him from her. She told me that she didn't realize how much she needed Bob until she found him. God, this feels so bad to think about. She truly has a kind and compassionate soul, I'm forever grateful to her for what she did for Bob. I thanked her, and we both decided to keep in touch and update her about how Bob is doing. I so hope she gets a cat of her own, she deserves a companion.

I drove home, and set up the living room to take care of him. He's jaundiced, matted, underweight, and who knows what else. It's been hard to see him like this and I feel to blame. If only I scrounged up the money in the first place for his surgery. But I made the decision which I thought was best at the time. I'm not perfect, but I am going to do my best to do right by Bob. I have a full time job now and no more college to pay for, so vet bills shouldn't be an issue anymore.

I am exhausted right now. Emotionally and physically. My husband is out of town for work so it's been me all alone for this. Luckily I have friends and family to rely on for help and to talk to. Also, I can get it all out here. Funny how FurAffinity is my safe place.