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Bored
16 years ago
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Well... Exactly as the title says, but I cant explain why... Maybe just typing out the thoughts and other things that have been going around in my head.
Yes though, I'm just bored of life (maybe, not sure) in general. Really don't know what to make of it. It's definitely not the people I've come to know in what has almost been a full year now, I'm still finding it hard to believe its almost been that long since I've met these absolutely wonderful and terrific people who I in no small way am absolutely honored to have as friends!
Some of which, every time I see, can not get over how friendly they are and just in general the good feelings I get around them. It really makes me feel better to no end, knowing that these people are there. The odd thing is as I've gotten to know these people there are some that I am now in all honesty very proud of over some the things that they've come to accomplish for themselves and others.
Then I take a look at myself and wonder what I've done... Have I actually accomplished something? Anything? In that regard I like to think I have but then I also doubt myself... For some odd reason I do. I hope I'm not coming off as mopey or anything like that, I'm just trying to get a bead on my own position in the wonderful game that is 'life.' Or at the very least talking myself into finding it.
Granted I am actually planning my life out a little bit better. Its taken about 3 years but I have figured out what I want to do and more or less the means to go about it. Whether or not it actually all comes out as planed... Well, that's going to be interesting to see. While I do have to wait roughly a year, when things get set in motion it should go quite well from there on out. And this is in part thanks to another friend who really came through for me when I told him about what I wanted to do, wasn't even expecting it and just... BAM! Out of the blue he shows me what I was basically looking for.
Yeah, some of the thoughts that have drifted through... But back onto the boredom bit now. I look at I guess all the material possessions I have and what I consider to be my investments. I'm just thinking like they're almost nothing to me. Don't get me wrong something that I spent a lot of money on and it just going kaput is likely to be a pisser on my day, its just I look at them and don't know what to think beyond a mixture of 'why' and 'eh.' Its kind of like the spice was there when I initially had them is just gone now. This likely is nothing more than me going through a faze or something of the sort but... Really don't know.
Simply put the people in my life are grand and very dear to me, but when it comes to my own I cant think of anything beyond how bland I am? I don't know.
Just wanted to voice some thoughts running around in my head.
Yes though, I'm just bored of life (maybe, not sure) in general. Really don't know what to make of it. It's definitely not the people I've come to know in what has almost been a full year now, I'm still finding it hard to believe its almost been that long since I've met these absolutely wonderful and terrific people who I in no small way am absolutely honored to have as friends!
Some of which, every time I see, can not get over how friendly they are and just in general the good feelings I get around them. It really makes me feel better to no end, knowing that these people are there. The odd thing is as I've gotten to know these people there are some that I am now in all honesty very proud of over some the things that they've come to accomplish for themselves and others.
Then I take a look at myself and wonder what I've done... Have I actually accomplished something? Anything? In that regard I like to think I have but then I also doubt myself... For some odd reason I do. I hope I'm not coming off as mopey or anything like that, I'm just trying to get a bead on my own position in the wonderful game that is 'life.' Or at the very least talking myself into finding it.
Granted I am actually planning my life out a little bit better. Its taken about 3 years but I have figured out what I want to do and more or less the means to go about it. Whether or not it actually all comes out as planed... Well, that's going to be interesting to see. While I do have to wait roughly a year, when things get set in motion it should go quite well from there on out. And this is in part thanks to another friend who really came through for me when I told him about what I wanted to do, wasn't even expecting it and just... BAM! Out of the blue he shows me what I was basically looking for.
Yeah, some of the thoughts that have drifted through... But back onto the boredom bit now. I look at I guess all the material possessions I have and what I consider to be my investments. I'm just thinking like they're almost nothing to me. Don't get me wrong something that I spent a lot of money on and it just going kaput is likely to be a pisser on my day, its just I look at them and don't know what to think beyond a mixture of 'why' and 'eh.' Its kind of like the spice was there when I initially had them is just gone now. This likely is nothing more than me going through a faze or something of the sort but... Really don't know.
Simply put the people in my life are grand and very dear to me, but when it comes to my own I cant think of anything beyond how bland I am? I don't know.
Just wanted to voice some thoughts running around in my head.
It takes alot to figure out where you want to go and how you want to get there in life.
Yeah, you've met some quirky fucks over the last few years.
And we all have moments where we sit back and go, where are we going in life, why am I here?
As for the bland thing, we all feel that way sometimes. Hell, I even look at Luci sometimes and feel very plain myself. I look at my friends (you know them all xD) and sit back going 'Why am I not at their level yet'.
But we all get where we need to go when we need to be there!
So buck up, if you ever need someone to talk to. You know how to find me ^^