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an hard week (not drama but sad story)
16 years ago
General
well, this week was quite an hard time for some reason, i think you noticed that i got some problem with my computer that i bought a new HDD with 1TB as capacity. i will take some days more before i format my computer for to remove the msi bug and some virus that block my art software's connection...
after this little shop, i started to get worried about my private life : i'm 26 years old and i wonder how i can get money if i don't have any job ? what happen if one of my grandsparents or both passed away ? or still what happen i passed away and all my project is not yet finished ?
it seem that i got a serious problem with that.... not only that, one of my dogs is old enough and start to be pass away... not sure if he will still alive after the morning... as you can see, i suddently started to think about myself and my family.
honnestly, the idea that i pass away and never finished half of my life scare me very much for some reason : i often get some weird dream about how i could pass away like this one that keep me unforgetable :
when i was child, i dreamed that i was in the car alone, with the small female dog and i was sleeping, when i wake up, i watched the sky with full of beautifull stars. i saw a shooting star starting to fall and i was fascined by it. but it continue to fall until it getting more and more bigger, it was starting to get more close and i can really see a white fire-ball falling far far foward from my car. the star explode and i can heard a kind of explosion after i saw the explosion and i see the fire coming to my car really fast and i get burned alive while i watch my dog barking aline too. i suddendly waked up, i was still in the same car, i look around and nothing wrong. i get out and go at my old granny and don't say anything about it. few months later, i saw a movie about asteroid crashing on our planet. i was scaried to saw it and never realised that what i dream could be true.
few years later, i got the same dream but in the different place, other context : i was adolescent, this dream was talking about a cop who try to stop the bomb before the time get reverse for redo the same time after i wake up immediatly, i feel my arms get burned, they turned all red... i wonder why.
the other dream was about a tarot card with a dompter of snake and his face look like a skull, i was alarmed and understand that mean our planet will pass away anytime and the only way to save it was to call someone about it but my family told me that was all fake and suddently, the earth rumble very much and we get an intense white light, i ddin't saw very much because i immediatly wake up after an intense pain i feel, i got some sweat on my face... that was only 3 or 4 years ago.
well, forget about what i said about dream, it's just very weird to know that but it does really mean that i could pass away anytime but don't know when exactly.
hum... i think i need to go to bed because it's already over 3:30AM since one of my dogs remind me these scary questions i got on my mind...
after this little shop, i started to get worried about my private life : i'm 26 years old and i wonder how i can get money if i don't have any job ? what happen if one of my grandsparents or both passed away ? or still what happen i passed away and all my project is not yet finished ?
it seem that i got a serious problem with that.... not only that, one of my dogs is old enough and start to be pass away... not sure if he will still alive after the morning... as you can see, i suddently started to think about myself and my family.
honnestly, the idea that i pass away and never finished half of my life scare me very much for some reason : i often get some weird dream about how i could pass away like this one that keep me unforgetable :
when i was child, i dreamed that i was in the car alone, with the small female dog and i was sleeping, when i wake up, i watched the sky with full of beautifull stars. i saw a shooting star starting to fall and i was fascined by it. but it continue to fall until it getting more and more bigger, it was starting to get more close and i can really see a white fire-ball falling far far foward from my car. the star explode and i can heard a kind of explosion after i saw the explosion and i see the fire coming to my car really fast and i get burned alive while i watch my dog barking aline too. i suddendly waked up, i was still in the same car, i look around and nothing wrong. i get out and go at my old granny and don't say anything about it. few months later, i saw a movie about asteroid crashing on our planet. i was scaried to saw it and never realised that what i dream could be true.
few years later, i got the same dream but in the different place, other context : i was adolescent, this dream was talking about a cop who try to stop the bomb before the time get reverse for redo the same time after i wake up immediatly, i feel my arms get burned, they turned all red... i wonder why.
the other dream was about a tarot card with a dompter of snake and his face look like a skull, i was alarmed and understand that mean our planet will pass away anytime and the only way to save it was to call someone about it but my family told me that was all fake and suddently, the earth rumble very much and we get an intense white light, i ddin't saw very much because i immediatly wake up after an intense pain i feel, i got some sweat on my face... that was only 3 or 4 years ago.
well, forget about what i said about dream, it's just very weird to know that but it does really mean that i could pass away anytime but don't know when exactly.
hum... i think i need to go to bed because it's already over 3:30AM since one of my dogs remind me these scary questions i got on my mind...
Einstein est mort avant d'avoir écrit la théorie d'unification, et la en physique on cherche toujours.
Kurt Cobain, et tant d'autres avant lui se sont cassés trop tôt aussi avant d'avoir accompli leur oeuvre majeure, alors nous fait pas ce coup ok?