Off my chest
7 years ago
There was a few things that are haunting me and I thought a lot of them during November. What they really are is the message(or rather impression) I get mainly through socially is that I shouldn't making art because I'm not talented.
There are valid arguments against that, but what I'm getting from others are that not having "good" artwork, being a nobody and working hard are totally wrong. It's like I should have really good artwork one after the other all the time, having tons of views and likes while having them come easy as the standard of being an artist. The field of visual art seems to be like you have to be born with the right qualities or handed the right things to do it unlike Accounting or Computer Science. Otherwise you're going to have really the worst time doing it technically, socially and professionally. It also looks like there's an "in it to win it" aspect where making art and being an artist are nothing less than having great artwork occasionally, being famous, and making a living out of it. Those are great things to have, but it looks like having those supersedes me just wanting to do it.
I heavily feel like I have to be talented to do this, especially in the beginning where everything is hard to get through and at the end where "the winner takes all" part comes in. With the all hard work that the talented artists get easy and the learning that they don't really need to know because they just "get it", It looks like I'll end up in the middle; struggled through to do the easy things right, but not far enough to get the grand prizes. I'm fine having the technical prowess to make the things I like, but I feel it's wrong to not have everything else.
Obviously, this is all false; I know they are. But when I try to look away, something happens or comes up that reinforce those things I believe in. Some of them of are in the actual form of consequences like art school. I don't get the things right away like everyone else does along with the almost the no instruction and answers that I pay $300 out of my budget every month. If I complete the program years later, I would of paid a ton of money to do something that's simple, but too rigid to use creatively. Once I'm finish Phase I, I'm going to quit the Atelier Program, essentially dropping out of art school and find a new source to fits to me more.
What this really boils down is that I should quit making art. Even though I want to make art and learn how to do it really well, it seems that I have to have to be talented to do it and I'm going to get punished by other artists simply because I don't have the ability and qualities.
There are valid arguments against that, but what I'm getting from others are that not having "good" artwork, being a nobody and working hard are totally wrong. It's like I should have really good artwork one after the other all the time, having tons of views and likes while having them come easy as the standard of being an artist. The field of visual art seems to be like you have to be born with the right qualities or handed the right things to do it unlike Accounting or Computer Science. Otherwise you're going to have really the worst time doing it technically, socially and professionally. It also looks like there's an "in it to win it" aspect where making art and being an artist are nothing less than having great artwork occasionally, being famous, and making a living out of it. Those are great things to have, but it looks like having those supersedes me just wanting to do it.
I heavily feel like I have to be talented to do this, especially in the beginning where everything is hard to get through and at the end where "the winner takes all" part comes in. With the all hard work that the talented artists get easy and the learning that they don't really need to know because they just "get it", It looks like I'll end up in the middle; struggled through to do the easy things right, but not far enough to get the grand prizes. I'm fine having the technical prowess to make the things I like, but I feel it's wrong to not have everything else.
Obviously, this is all false; I know they are. But when I try to look away, something happens or comes up that reinforce those things I believe in. Some of them of are in the actual form of consequences like art school. I don't get the things right away like everyone else does along with the almost the no instruction and answers that I pay $300 out of my budget every month. If I complete the program years later, I would of paid a ton of money to do something that's simple, but too rigid to use creatively. Once I'm finish Phase I, I'm going to quit the Atelier Program, essentially dropping out of art school and find a new source to fits to me more.
What this really boils down is that I should quit making art. Even though I want to make art and learn how to do it really well, it seems that I have to have to be talented to do it and I'm going to get punished by other artists simply because I don't have the ability and qualities.
FA+
