Five years ago, I had a small tight circle of friends who I knew could help me get through anything, who would always be there when I needed them.

Today, I just lost the last one. I feel like I knew it was coming but... I haven't felt so alone and so much pain in years...

I wanted to be strong and send them off with a smile, but I had to choke back my tears and try so hard not to break down. I wanted to fight to hold on to what we had, but... I feel like if I did anything I might just break down on the spot...

I don't want to keep holding on to people if I'm dragging them down, I want them to succeed in life even if it means leaving me behind. But I just... don't know how much more I can take...

I don't want anyone to worry but I'm not strong enough to keep myself together. I want to rely on others but I'm too scared I'll lose everything again. I don't know what to do...

I'm just... so lost and confused... I don't see a future anymore. It's been getting darker and darker and now it's just gone. I don't want... to keep moving forward if I'm going to keep feeling like this...

I feel like... I don't have anyone to rely on... or I'm just too scared to do so... lost and alone... I'm scared... and I'm sorry... I might... need to disappear...