Happy new years everyone,welcome to 2019! Man, I did not realize it had been an entire year without a journal on here!

It was a busy and chaotic 2018 to say the least, there is a lot I could talk about but I also don't wanna be an incredible downer and just joining the leagues of "my life sucks" voices that just keep on repeat. So In this instance I will try and keep it point form and hopefully that minimizes it?

Art life: I had slowed down a bit this last year with my art but I still pushed myself to draw and complete things, at this point in my life, furry art is one of the few things that gives me a feeling of meaning or really being a part of the fandom. My passion about dragons and scalies has not faded at all and I intend to draw for years to come. In fact I wanna get a more modern tablet to up my game a bit! My art is just one of my main life passions,

Work life: I started last year with a detailers job at a RV shop, was going great, I got promoted to Tech in the spring and that pretty much when this job started going down hill. I found out just how under appreciated and how little consideration was given to techs there and while the money I make is pretty decent, I just feel overly pressured to do everything fast and with little resources many times to get the job done. In short I want out cause I am finding this line of work not for me. I am not heart broken by this, had to re-invent my work self multiple times, so whats one more?

Health: I aint sugar coating this one, 2018 was probably the worst year of my life health wise, and maybe I should be proud that I survived it and still found things to be happy about life even after that. I had three separate molars that either broke or were in aching decay, costly to remove and well, made me feel kinda bad, always thought I did a decent job looking after my teeth but they died from the inside out. Then in the summer I put out my back at my job and was off over a week and on top of that still dealing with the issues of trying to re-train my muscles to reduce back strain.

Mental health: I think this in 2018 had to have been the biggest shit kick of them all. Dealing with a long term relationship that I had to end due to it turning into a very unhealthy thing for both parties, and plus my job being just a micro managing shit storm making passive threats. This year found me stuck in a spot of trying to hold down a stressful job to keep myself afloat while dealing with various forms of attacks, social undermining and drama. Much of which was based on my breakup. 2018 was trying to kick my ass from both sides of my life and I still got the stress ticks to show for surviving it.

Furry stuff: This has been a super mixed bag of a year, the local scene has been dwindling, a few events all but dying off in a rather sad and disappointing turn of events. The aforementioned breakup 3rd party drama/ attacks also factoring into things put me in a place of "where the hell do I even go with this crap?". It was a trying year for the whole furry and being passionate about the fandom thing. So I have been taking a page outta the books of some furries I know and expanding my horizons, meet new people, people who have the same interests as myself (art, suiting, kinks, crafts and creations). I got too use to being small-world about things cause a local furry scene had popped up and I ceased really meeting interesting folks abroad like I once did. So far its been a sigh of relief meeting more active people out there with fun things of their own going on or just fun/ interesting stuff to talk about (you know who you are <3)

Going forward into 2019: Its gonna be a year of BIG changes, 2018 showed me a lot of ugly and a lot of shitty in many forms, It all felt like one big test to see what I could endure and what I came to realize is a lot of it has been my operation with things. I had been holding onto ideas and things even after they long since fell to ash and had this idea of "If I try really hard... I can make it come back again" while nice in sentiment had often set me up to get hurt. In 2019 I have to try something different and part of that is gonna be giving more focus to the things in my life that make me happy and spending time with the people that matter as well as reaching out more to engage and try new things. I want to try and wipe some of my slate clean, not so much for the sake of others, but for myself and my own progression in life. When the environment changes, you either adapt and evolve, or fade away, and this red dragon aint ready to fade!