2019 will finally began, i know has been 4 days already but been unable to post, as for why i didnt even posted since september, my priorites are on art as always to improve as fast as i can or else face the death of dreams.
this year was a Roller Coaster like many, don't think I ever felt truly and fully happy at all this year though. My art continued to improve, according to close persons, but my numbers say otherwise, no one with a patreon stuck on 3-4 can be a good artist, if only i had started 3 years sooner, but alas depression ruined my youth.

So we start with the same baggage as last year the constant anxiety and stress of wanting to live a comfortable life but being not good enough ,there have been multiple occasions throughout 2018 where I legitimately just wanted to give up been unable to find a solid job, been unable to make friends ,unable to improve enough at art.

Scared (and about to fall to desperation )about what 2019 will bring, but with my current situation maybe I'm in a better place to jump in and make a path in life that I want? (i doubt it), and that starts with further improving my art so I can one day make it a comfortable career, and perhaps stop being the same of the family

Starting in 2019 I will try to :

• Further practice and improve my art
• Be more social and reach out to more artists, even if they dont reply
• Work my self loathing, i would asy "let go" but is impossible to let go is a fallacy but you can overcome it,
Thank you so much for everything, even though we are a small group, you are everything i have