That's a multi-faceted issue that there isn't one end all, be all answer for. In best practice, it sounds like you just need someone to talk to about your issues and worries, at least to formulate a plan of action and attack some of the root causes of a lot of these issues that synergize off one another. The best advice I can offer is to reach out to someone and try to discuss your issues-- and being the one to talk, I'll welcome you to send me a note if that's what you'd like to do.

i really appreciate your input and the offer, thank you. 💜
I need to think some things over.

That's a tough nut to crack. One I still struggle with a lot. One thing I can suggest is thinking hard about what you want to do, and then try to set goals towards achieving those things. Be reasonable with the goals too. Set them too high and you'll burn yourself out. But if you keep them reasonable, and keep achieving them, then soon enough you'll be where you wanna be.

There's nothing wrong with living with (with, not off) your family, especially now with how housing prices are and such. I actually didn't move out until I was 28, but when I did it was because I'd saved up enough for a down payment.

As far as getting motivated to do stuff, it sounds like you've got some mild depression/anxiety going on. Some of that is just part of growing up and experiencing change, some of it might be something you'll always struggle with, and some of it could just be situational. I can't really give you specific advice without knowing specifics, but I can talk a little bit about how I handled that point in my life and maybe you might find some ideas.

After I graduated high school, all I knew is that I wanted to do something technical. I had a shitty weekend job, and I didn't know if I'd be able to handle college. I looked at where other people had screwed up, and realized that most of it was due to over committing (e.g. they find themselves 2 years into a 4 year degree and realize they hate it, but they've already spent so much money on it they have to keep going).

So what I did was come up with an education plan that gave me options to quit and still have something to show for it. It would take longer, but it was a great hedge against uncertainty. I started out at a community college, and after making sure the classes would transfer, took a semester of 50% classes that would get me a certification to work on computers, and 50% classes that would get me an associates in CS. It turned out I could handle it just fine, so I used the certificates to get a part time job and kept going with the associates degree. After that, I was able to upgrade my part time job from IT to software development and transfer to a local State University. From there I left my options open to pursue a masters degree, but my software job had turned into a full time thing and so I ended my schooling there after the bachelors degree.

So I guess the takeaway from all this is to break everything down into small steps that will give you a net improvement at the end. If you're not sure what got want to do, figure out if there's a way you can explore different stuff while still gaining something from it. If you can get it down to bite sized chunks that are basically win-win for you, you may find it easier to get started trying to affect a change.

Nothing wrong with you, youre not coming up with excuses and youre not lazy, your good, people have different levels of stress, there are ways to break out of procrastination, but really some times its just a symptom of a greater issue, that leads to it, in my situation i am generally mentally exhausted and unless there is a deadline i do not finish something, if i don't set small steps and then build it up i end up just crunching last minute. This has affected personal projects bc i slowly lose interest as i keep putting this off that off bc i want to make this right, i dont want to mess it up, but really thats where I screw it up, by not doing it i kind of just dont go nowhere and failing is always better than not trying at all from what ve begun to understand.

About speaking with people online i mean its a good way to test the waters, personally i avoid interacting with people as much as possible, the only exception being work and school, and in a way i still do, my general advice is find something local people like you like as well online, and then slowly meet up with them outside i did that with cons and Pokemon Go since those kind of forced me to interact with people or at least go outside.

If you ever want to reach out tho im here