Things started getting better for me over the autumn, but now everything's starting to get back to being as awful as it was before.

The depression is coming back in spades, and in all of its forms, right down to getting so depressingly bored that I can think of nothing I'd rather do but curl up and sleep yet another day away.

I had a nice enough summer and autumn, and Christmas wasn't bad. But everything feels so utterly pointless. I'm not good at anything, and even if I was, would it matter?

It feels like my life is being taken over by utter nihilism and despite the fact that I full well know and understand what is happening to me, I can't help it or stop it.

I just want to sleep, and sleep, and sleep. I don't want to be awake anymore.