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Old Staple Joke of Mine
7 years ago
General
“When you shall say, "As others do, so will I. I renounce, I am sorry for it, my early visions; I must eat the good of the land, and let learning and romantic expectations go, until a more convenient season." — then dies the man in you;” - Ralph W. Emerson
(Recorded as a comic about 2010 or 11)
There was a tool guy with a tool box. He takes a wrench but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a little boy skipping and saying, "I'm having fun today!" The wrench lodges into his head and kills him. The toolguy takes out a knife but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a mailman delivering mail who says, "Mailin's my thing." The knife knocks off the mailbox and hits him in the throat, killing him. The toolguy then takes out a nail, but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a dog walking, and the nail goes right threw it's eye, killing it. The toolguy takes out a hammer, but doesn't need it so he throws it. There's a demon cutting up a three year old who screams "Stop it." as the demon laughs. The hammer cuts off the demon's head. The toolguy takes out a saw, but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a clown next to a kid who says, "Now for my next trick!..." The saw cuts open the clown's face and the boy laughs at him. The toolguy takes out a jackhammer but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's an old lady walking across the street, and the jackhammer rips her in half. A policeman stops by and says, "What the? I bet this was your fault!" Pointing to the tool guy. The tool guy says, "No! It was...him!" He points to a random guy walking down the street. "Who? Me?" The guy is arrested, screaming, "I didn't do anything!" The policeman asks the toolguy, "You want to join the police?" "Yeah!" The toolguy says. He then smiles to himself, while facing all the dead bodies.
There was a tool guy with a tool box. He takes a wrench but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a little boy skipping and saying, "I'm having fun today!" The wrench lodges into his head and kills him. The toolguy takes out a knife but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a mailman delivering mail who says, "Mailin's my thing." The knife knocks off the mailbox and hits him in the throat, killing him. The toolguy then takes out a nail, but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a dog walking, and the nail goes right threw it's eye, killing it. The toolguy takes out a hammer, but doesn't need it so he throws it. There's a demon cutting up a three year old who screams "Stop it." as the demon laughs. The hammer cuts off the demon's head. The toolguy takes out a saw, but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's a clown next to a kid who says, "Now for my next trick!..." The saw cuts open the clown's face and the boy laughs at him. The toolguy takes out a jackhammer but doesn't need it, so he throws it. There's an old lady walking across the street, and the jackhammer rips her in half. A policeman stops by and says, "What the? I bet this was your fault!" Pointing to the tool guy. The tool guy says, "No! It was...him!" He points to a random guy walking down the street. "Who? Me?" The guy is arrested, screaming, "I didn't do anything!" The policeman asks the toolguy, "You want to join the police?" "Yeah!" The toolguy says. He then smiles to himself, while facing all the dead bodies.
