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At Peace
7 years ago
Greetings everyone. Allow me to vent here.
Basic rundown, 2018 was a mess. I lost a family I had grown due to my partner falling in love with a fuck buddy and the eventually taking my family to go live with this someone. Lots of feelings, lots of emotions and a lot of time I can never have or get back. In the meantime I reached out and realized my network was strong enough to get me through this depressing part of my life.
So yeah Foss, 2018 was the year of destruction, the year of ending, the year that life bitch smacked me into a new reality. But there's one thing you should know about me. I don't stay down for long. Fuck there were days I was soo depressed and soo out of it that I felt nothing. What do you wana do? Silence. What do you feel like eating? Silence. Do you want to hang with friends? Silence. But I always put one foot in front of the other. I always took that step forward. Because of that and the people around me, I survived.
Now when I realized that I was being played, bet your ass I put myself as a player on this board. I made sure to set myself up so that everyone would know what a vile creature I was with. But all good things come with time and so I must wait.
After such a traumatic experience, I had a bunch of lingering questions in my head: especially considering that of my sexuality and what ifs. I'm glad to say those questions are answered and I remain friends with some very cool people. I may have lost a few but there is no harm in that. Sometimes even cool dudes can have nothing in it for them but it doesn't mean they aren't cool dudes.
The whole point of this post is that 2018 was a very, very bad year for me. For the first time in years I feel at peace with my mind. I'm not heavily thirsting after companionship, I'm not as depressed as I used to be and I feel more calm in my mind than anything else. 2018 may have been the year of destruction but 2019 will be the year I forge myself as a stronger person thanks to those I have around me. Thanks guys. You continue to make me a better person.
Basic rundown, 2018 was a mess. I lost a family I had grown due to my partner falling in love with a fuck buddy and the eventually taking my family to go live with this someone. Lots of feelings, lots of emotions and a lot of time I can never have or get back. In the meantime I reached out and realized my network was strong enough to get me through this depressing part of my life.
So yeah Foss, 2018 was the year of destruction, the year of ending, the year that life bitch smacked me into a new reality. But there's one thing you should know about me. I don't stay down for long. Fuck there were days I was soo depressed and soo out of it that I felt nothing. What do you wana do? Silence. What do you feel like eating? Silence. Do you want to hang with friends? Silence. But I always put one foot in front of the other. I always took that step forward. Because of that and the people around me, I survived.
Now when I realized that I was being played, bet your ass I put myself as a player on this board. I made sure to set myself up so that everyone would know what a vile creature I was with. But all good things come with time and so I must wait.
After such a traumatic experience, I had a bunch of lingering questions in my head: especially considering that of my sexuality and what ifs. I'm glad to say those questions are answered and I remain friends with some very cool people. I may have lost a few but there is no harm in that. Sometimes even cool dudes can have nothing in it for them but it doesn't mean they aren't cool dudes.
The whole point of this post is that 2018 was a very, very bad year for me. For the first time in years I feel at peace with my mind. I'm not heavily thirsting after companionship, I'm not as depressed as I used to be and I feel more calm in my mind than anything else. 2018 may have been the year of destruction but 2019 will be the year I forge myself as a stronger person thanks to those I have around me. Thanks guys. You continue to make me a better person.
