A thing happened here a little while ago that has left me troubled. It is a natural thing, normal in wild life, but the fact that I was part of it disturbs me. I left Alex, my 10 year old cat, out for a late nite excursion. Not unusual for him. About a half hour ago, I heard some squawking noise on the porch, and yes Alex had caught something... a male red Cardinal bird. He'd brought it as a gift to me, to the front door. But you see, I've taken some pride to have been feeding these birds this month, as their bright red colors and alertness is counterpoint to this dull winter month we call February. And here, Alex has killed it. Not really his fault, he's doing a thing that God's way has wired into his being.

But I picked up the still alive bird, at first I thought I might be some help. Alex had pulled a lot of feathers off, it was breathing heavily, and I saw his blood on my hand. He was looking at me, his eye blinked. I could do nothing for him. I held him for a few minutes, unsure what to do... put the bird out to die in the freezing ice, keep it inside to possibly revive, or die in the warmth of the kitchen. I felt so sorry, because I have observed that cardinals are paired for life, and I know there's a wife that's lost her mate out there now.

I just held the bird for awhile. I decided the humane thing to do was put him out of his pain. I wrapped his dying body in a paper towel, and beheaded him quickly with a butcher knife. I swear you all it was a very difficult thing to do.

I am troubled also, that I am angry with the cat. He was trying to gift me with his trophy... but the gift was another creature that I have been admiring and helping. I want to twist that damned cat's head off right now, but no, he was just trying to give a gift to me. I want to make him stay outside in the 15 degree F weather tonite.

But no, he's done the best thing for his steward (me) and it's simply unfortunate that some bird has lost its mate. I can only shed tear for the Cardinals.