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No longer feeling like I belong here.
7 years ago
Pretty much what the title says. Lately I have just felt like I don't have a place in the Vore community anymore. I feel like an outlier, someone who goes against the norm, since I don't like anyting revolving around death or implied permanence, especially actual permanence. I don't know if it's intentional within the community, but I've started to get feelings of being valued less, or favored less when it comes to public interaction due to the fact that I have very strict preferences.
In no way am I saying that this is 100% the truth, it's just what I've been feeling about my involvement over the past couple of years. I'm a very easily emotionally driven individual, and so when I see content involving characters personified by friends and those close to me and unpleasant situations I can't help but get a huge rush anxiety. I don't want to see them in such a situation because to me I don't want to see someone I care about suffering. It is a fault of mine that this is a failure to disconnect from the character and the person behind the character but at the same time I do feel that I am to some extent at least a little bit justified in feeling this way.
A lot of this negativity stems from the increasing popularity of things like permavore and profile play. With Perma stuff it's not as bad because it's easier to block and avoid, but it's still can slip through Tama which is why I'm bummed that fa still has never implemented any sort of tag blacklisting feature. On the flip side stuff like profile play is by Design meant to be shoved in everyone's faces. If people kept it only to a site specifically meant for that kind of stuff, I wouldn't have so much of an issue. But I've dealt firsthand with plenty of instances of going on Twitter or jumping on flist and either seeing a retweet of someone whose icon is a character's ass, or a message on flist with an update to someone's profile stating that they've been temp or permavored.
That kind of stuff is why I've become very strict about anything involving my characters being labeled as nonfatal. I want no chance of it being construed as anything otherwise, because I've dealt with people trying to imply that stuff in the past. Thankfully it was only a couple of times, but it was enough to upset me enough to take those steps. I've known people who have dealt with far worst when it comes to things revolving around profile play on flist, plenty of drama and ruined friendships due to a lack of communication and dishonesty.
I know that this is supposed to be a big Community where everyone is welcoming and inclusive of other people's interests and preferences, but lately I felt like some people just have this overwhelming desire to get what they want regardless of other people's preferences. Whether or not this is actually the case I have no proof either way, it's just what I have felt. That people are taking a very heavy-hitting scenario and just tossing it about as if it were a regular interest with no regard for how other people are going to handle it.
I know that I'm probably going to get some Flack for this, so I do want to go on record as saying I don't inherently hate profile play or permavore itself, I just really wish that it was practiced in a more controlled manner in a way that was more easily filtered out and hidden by the people who don't want to be involved with it.
I might end up just taking a week's vacation from furaffinity and Twitter, along with limiting my interactions with furry stuff when it comes to Discord. Maybe giving myself some distance from the community for a little while will help me find my footing again so that I can have a better mental approach towards things.
In no way am I saying that this is 100% the truth, it's just what I've been feeling about my involvement over the past couple of years. I'm a very easily emotionally driven individual, and so when I see content involving characters personified by friends and those close to me and unpleasant situations I can't help but get a huge rush anxiety. I don't want to see them in such a situation because to me I don't want to see someone I care about suffering. It is a fault of mine that this is a failure to disconnect from the character and the person behind the character but at the same time I do feel that I am to some extent at least a little bit justified in feeling this way.
A lot of this negativity stems from the increasing popularity of things like permavore and profile play. With Perma stuff it's not as bad because it's easier to block and avoid, but it's still can slip through Tama which is why I'm bummed that fa still has never implemented any sort of tag blacklisting feature. On the flip side stuff like profile play is by Design meant to be shoved in everyone's faces. If people kept it only to a site specifically meant for that kind of stuff, I wouldn't have so much of an issue. But I've dealt firsthand with plenty of instances of going on Twitter or jumping on flist and either seeing a retweet of someone whose icon is a character's ass, or a message on flist with an update to someone's profile stating that they've been temp or permavored.
That kind of stuff is why I've become very strict about anything involving my characters being labeled as nonfatal. I want no chance of it being construed as anything otherwise, because I've dealt with people trying to imply that stuff in the past. Thankfully it was only a couple of times, but it was enough to upset me enough to take those steps. I've known people who have dealt with far worst when it comes to things revolving around profile play on flist, plenty of drama and ruined friendships due to a lack of communication and dishonesty.
I know that this is supposed to be a big Community where everyone is welcoming and inclusive of other people's interests and preferences, but lately I felt like some people just have this overwhelming desire to get what they want regardless of other people's preferences. Whether or not this is actually the case I have no proof either way, it's just what I have felt. That people are taking a very heavy-hitting scenario and just tossing it about as if it were a regular interest with no regard for how other people are going to handle it.
I know that I'm probably going to get some Flack for this, so I do want to go on record as saying I don't inherently hate profile play or permavore itself, I just really wish that it was practiced in a more controlled manner in a way that was more easily filtered out and hidden by the people who don't want to be involved with it.
I might end up just taking a week's vacation from furaffinity and Twitter, along with limiting my interactions with furry stuff when it comes to Discord. Maybe giving myself some distance from the community for a little while will help me find my footing again so that I can have a better mental approach towards things.
My Big Bro since 9/18/2004: 
<3~
"Try not to look back for too long;
Keep moving forwards, opening new doors and doing new things;
Simply be curious, because curiosity will help to lead you down new paths."
<3~"Try not to look back for too long;
Keep moving forwards, opening new doors and doing new things;
Simply be curious, because curiosity will help to lead you down new paths."
Your not alone in being a nonfatel vore person, i can do soft digestion but hard and perma are a huge nono to me. Some profile play to me is ok if its just stating who a master, pet or family member is but saying your character is now gone and leave it up is a bit annoying.
If you do take a break away from FA then idk if it's too straight forward of me to ask if i can add you on discord or something, to me your a cool dude and id like to keep contact if allowed.
Just remember that people do still care and respect what you like 💙💙
Do NOT leave just because it goes against the stupid norm. I see that kind of indoctrinating effect on people very often, and to be fair it's both scary and upsetting. It's perfectly okay to go against any norm, and in some cases a good idea if you ask me: Enjoy whatever you wish to, unless it's actually harming an actual person (emphasis on actual for some people out there). Vore is often a very nice and sweet thing and totally a good norm in my world... if the normies don't like it, they're welcome to take a hike
I do also get the stance of feeling... Out of place more and more these days. Even sitting in calls with friends I normally get along with fairly well, topics about vore turn up and it ends up being fatal chatter or other stuff that in most cases heavily irks me as I've never super been into it. Always prefered a softer, enjoyable / affectionate approach to vore of most varieties.
On the topic of places... Whilst I feel that F-list is F-list and that site will change with it's users... Twitter is a social platform, and I feel a platform where such things really shouldn't be done in the first place. It's a place for you to generally keep up with friends, their likes, topics to chat about and all that (including posts like this).
All in all. It's come to a point where a lot of the time enjoying anything soft generally leaves one feeling outcast by a good portion of folks. And the labeling, changing of icons and such spread out use of what should be generally a confined experience has become so much in the face of everyone it's hard to go a day avoiding it, and it does kinda suck in the regard that if the opposite were to happen with endo or such, it'd leave a good bunch of folk not quite happy.
I do agree though that time away from things can help, but I also agree that hoping things are nicer isn't. Gotta make a space for enjoying such things and slowly bring the community who does enjoy it back together.
Its okay to be yourself and enjoy what you enjoy.
For me, I saw a Large fluctuation of Diaper and scat appear and its impossible to really get away from, though. So I really get what you mean.
I folow your twitter I believe, so. I hope it doesnt push you too far away.
It's become very rampant on Twitter because of the level of immediacy to the interaction, to wear the prey can change their icon, the Predator can send out a tweet announcing what happened, and within 5 minutes Garner upwards of 40 to 50 reactions to it.
As I said above, profile play itself is not inherently bad. In my personal opinion, it can get to be intrusive when any interaction with it is done through a non locked account. It would also be fine if people were to use a hashtag that could be blocked so that people who don't want to see it don't have to see it 5 when people go about doing it on an unlocked account it can spread around very easily and I've had instances of seeing the same scenario pop up on my feed over 9 times.
While part of it is something you're aware you need to work on-the understanding these are fictional characters bit-I don't think not enjoying the more violent types of gore is something to be ashamed of. While it's OK for people to enjoy that kind of stuff it's OK to not enjoy it. You're not saying you think it's bad for others and they shouldn't. you're just doing what's best for you. The only people you are being critical of is disrespectful people. I think we can all agree those people suck.
Tl'dr don't listen to any flak. You're fine. Take care of yourself and maybe focus on the cute fluffy furry stuff for awhile. I do think you should focus less on finding value from 'the community' and work on accepting yourself more and finding love and compassion from people you trust. Communities are fickle and not really worth seeking validation from in the long run.
I like footplay but I don't see myself being part of a community of it simply because of how fanatics people are, they nake me feel ashamed of this kink (IE a random picture a toe is showing and people start commenting creepy/cringy stuff).
Just remember that you can create your own community, there is already a non-fatal vore group if I'm not wrong, try to create your own TG chat/ discord server about it, I'm sure you will find some nice peps and a place where you belong.
Be positive!
Some folks require their fix of whatever they like and can't really fault them for it but it doesn't mean you have to like it.
I've seen it to some friends too.
But I’m also on the same boat that I much rather prefer the willing and non fatal stuff, which is why I have a great love for endosoma. It’s becomig a rarity these days, but that’s why it’s my goal to commission lots of nonfatal vore stuff, including the lewd variety.
I do my best to ignore the digestion and fatal vore stuff. It’s become far too rampant, yes...but I just ignore it to the best of my abilities.
But again, I understand you to some degree. I didn’t create my characters out of love and passion for character building just to have someone want to melt them to hip or ass fat. I didn’t create my characters just for them to become a part of someone else’s character...because that’s not what character building is. That’s just making an NPC like character and pretty much throwing them away.
Honestly, you’re not alone, Drags’. It’s tough fitting into a community that’s become largely permavore and fatal vore, yes...but you’re not alone in that regard.
I know we may not be friends to an extent that you’re comfortable with me, but if you ever need someone to chat with, I’m always available. :3
The one thing that has bothered me about FA is the fact that they don't have a intuitive way to block tags, categories or (yes) artists. While I have no problem with any artists, I just don't want to see some things myself. I whole-heartedly agree with you on the block functionality.
I've had to kind of put on blinders when I look through FA, and keep in mind I'm not going to go out and harass people or talk down on them. Everyone has a right to enjoy themselves to the best of their ability, I just don't want it forced down my throat (lol).
I'm pretty much the same way with permavore, it freaks me out a bit because I don't like seeing bad things happen to people whether or not they're into it.
If you need to take a break, that's pretty much up to you. Everyone needs one now again, at least you're giving us a heads up.
i never got people who makes fetish a lifestyle or something more , i think its unhealthy and the sooner you cut yourself off of this and be yourself and not care about it/them the better.
its just a fetish , its not a "community"