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Important Announcement. Please Read
6 years ago
Way down...
Hi there,
I am writing to inform everyone with whom I am acquainted with that my fursona, Kurtis AKA Sir Space Dragon, is not and was never an original design. I decided upon myself to make this matter public after recently being contacted by the original owner. I want to first make it known that I was in no manner pressured to make this issue public. Keeping this matter confidential simply did not sit right with me. I believe everyone has the right to know the truth, and the truth is that my ignorance has substantially hurt at least one person in this community. The rest of this entry will pertain how this issue came about, and why it was allowed to remain hidden for so long. By this juncture, if you wish to dissociate from me in any manner, I would completely understand. I only wish to explain my side of the story in this entry, and it is not my intent to evoke sympathy or coerce support with this letter. Whatever is written below, I have always wanted to get off my chest.
In about 2009~2010, I first learned of the furry fandom. What I knew of it then, or conceptualized , was extremely enticing given my real-world circumstances. Back then I was essentially lackluster in every aspect of my life, and so the prospect of escaping into a community where you could come up with your own character and dissociate from your actual self really lured me in. I had some vague conception of the badass fursona I wanted, but I could not draw to save my life then. It was then I stumbled upon a particular anthro dragon design online, and I became obsessed with it. I changed the character’s color to grey and called it a day without ever considering the implications of my actions: Kurtis was alive only in my daydreams.
I never did much community-wise. I kept to myself and entertained the notion of being my fursona only in my own mind. Things changed with mandatory military enlistment in 2015. Following a fortunate combination of extremely supportive peers, great commanders and luck, I ended up in command school. The ensuing 9 months of training was perhaps the worst time of my life – mostly because it made me realize that I had utterly wasted at least the first 16 years. I was crushed when I realized I was nowhere near prepared for the training. Everything came to bite me in the ass – compared to 88 other stellar cadets, I was physically incompetent, selfish and utterly careless. Worst still – I did nothing about myself despite constant feedback sessions. Not surprisingly, my obsession for Kurtis intensified: after all, he was the badass, beastly, fearsome warrior that I could never be. Over this period of time, excessive fantasizing got Kurtis a backstory, and I redesigned him with the intent of creating a more rugged character. Obviously, none of this helped with actually making me a better person during training. I graduated second from the bottom in my platoon.
Fortunately, I had the sense to turn my life around after graduation from command school. I had a year of service left as a platoon commander, and I vowed to never let myself sink so low again. Kurtis went from being a fantasy figure to an inspiration. My change in mindset brought me many great things: I made progress in my drawing, got acquainted with amazing people in the fandom, saw successes in my military service… I concluded my service in 2017, and by then, I had happily buried almost all my bad memories. In doing so, I believe I repressed the memory of ever having started off with a copy of someone else’s fursona. That combined with the belief I had redesigned Kurtis enough, I genuinely forgot that he was never an original design.
A few days ago, the original owner contacted me with regards to this matter – I guess you really cannot run from your past errors. As much as he was nice enough to offer seeking resolution privately, the thought of keeping more secrets made me more uncomfortable. Try as I might to convince myself that I am overreacting and irrational, I cannot deny feeling as though I am a fraud, and that I have been lying to everyone. I have to right my wrongs, and this process involves redesigning Kurtis and removing existing artwork of him, regardless of who drew it. Please give me time to make these amendments; as simple as it should be, the aforementioned process is taking a toll on me. I really do wish I was a more collected person.
I sincerely apologize for any distress I may have caused with this letter/revelation and will work to ensure I will not be a source of unnecessary concern in the future. I aim to stay, because if there is one thing keeping me in the furry fandom, is the comfort of knowing that I can make someone's day with a drawing or two.
Best,
Joaquinn
I am writing to inform everyone with whom I am acquainted with that my fursona, Kurtis AKA Sir Space Dragon, is not and was never an original design. I decided upon myself to make this matter public after recently being contacted by the original owner. I want to first make it known that I was in no manner pressured to make this issue public. Keeping this matter confidential simply did not sit right with me. I believe everyone has the right to know the truth, and the truth is that my ignorance has substantially hurt at least one person in this community. The rest of this entry will pertain how this issue came about, and why it was allowed to remain hidden for so long. By this juncture, if you wish to dissociate from me in any manner, I would completely understand. I only wish to explain my side of the story in this entry, and it is not my intent to evoke sympathy or coerce support with this letter. Whatever is written below, I have always wanted to get off my chest.
In about 2009~2010, I first learned of the furry fandom. What I knew of it then, or conceptualized , was extremely enticing given my real-world circumstances. Back then I was essentially lackluster in every aspect of my life, and so the prospect of escaping into a community where you could come up with your own character and dissociate from your actual self really lured me in. I had some vague conception of the badass fursona I wanted, but I could not draw to save my life then. It was then I stumbled upon a particular anthro dragon design online, and I became obsessed with it. I changed the character’s color to grey and called it a day without ever considering the implications of my actions: Kurtis was alive only in my daydreams.
I never did much community-wise. I kept to myself and entertained the notion of being my fursona only in my own mind. Things changed with mandatory military enlistment in 2015. Following a fortunate combination of extremely supportive peers, great commanders and luck, I ended up in command school. The ensuing 9 months of training was perhaps the worst time of my life – mostly because it made me realize that I had utterly wasted at least the first 16 years. I was crushed when I realized I was nowhere near prepared for the training. Everything came to bite me in the ass – compared to 88 other stellar cadets, I was physically incompetent, selfish and utterly careless. Worst still – I did nothing about myself despite constant feedback sessions. Not surprisingly, my obsession for Kurtis intensified: after all, he was the badass, beastly, fearsome warrior that I could never be. Over this period of time, excessive fantasizing got Kurtis a backstory, and I redesigned him with the intent of creating a more rugged character. Obviously, none of this helped with actually making me a better person during training. I graduated second from the bottom in my platoon.
Fortunately, I had the sense to turn my life around after graduation from command school. I had a year of service left as a platoon commander, and I vowed to never let myself sink so low again. Kurtis went from being a fantasy figure to an inspiration. My change in mindset brought me many great things: I made progress in my drawing, got acquainted with amazing people in the fandom, saw successes in my military service… I concluded my service in 2017, and by then, I had happily buried almost all my bad memories. In doing so, I believe I repressed the memory of ever having started off with a copy of someone else’s fursona. That combined with the belief I had redesigned Kurtis enough, I genuinely forgot that he was never an original design.
A few days ago, the original owner contacted me with regards to this matter – I guess you really cannot run from your past errors. As much as he was nice enough to offer seeking resolution privately, the thought of keeping more secrets made me more uncomfortable. Try as I might to convince myself that I am overreacting and irrational, I cannot deny feeling as though I am a fraud, and that I have been lying to everyone. I have to right my wrongs, and this process involves redesigning Kurtis and removing existing artwork of him, regardless of who drew it. Please give me time to make these amendments; as simple as it should be, the aforementioned process is taking a toll on me. I really do wish I was a more collected person.
I sincerely apologize for any distress I may have caused with this letter/revelation and will work to ensure I will not be a source of unnecessary concern in the future. I aim to stay, because if there is one thing keeping me in the furry fandom, is the comfort of knowing that I can make someone's day with a drawing or two.
Best,
Joaquinn
Since you're helping me redesign Kazuki. What say we work towards making new OCs and designs together? Let me know!
Also, do take care!
Keep up the good fight, and take care.