I must confess I'm very scared; very nervous.

I've wanted to make a living off of my gaming and fantasy creations ever since I first discovered the joy of Advanced Dungeons & Dragons back in 1979. But despite trying my hand at it a couple times, I always allowed myself to get discouraged by the fearful prophesies and warnings of family and my own doubts. I was always terrified that I would never be able to afford a home, afford a life, if I tried this.

And, so, I would attempt small creations here and there, but never actually tried making a life for myself in the gaming industry. I was convinced I couldn't make it work.

I let fear rule me.

Honestly, fear still does.

But I'm 51, now. I've got more grey in my beard than brown. And despite having been published once (the Chill gaming module, "UnDead & Buried") and created many stories on my own, I've never taken the risk to try this, seriously.

And, so, I've created my first Patreon.

I'm not quitting my day job. But I'm trying to create things and make money doing it.

I've also published my first gaming supplement over on DriveThru RPG: "d20 - A Few Extra Skills".

And...

Damn, I'm scared.

I want validation. I want it worse than all those stand-up comedians who say they want validation. And I'm still suffering through all my mental problems and anxieties. I don't have my life figured out.

But if I don't try this, if I don't take the chance, it'll be another 30 years and I'll be in the grave having never tried.

I don't like uncertainty. I don't like fear. I don't like being hated, ignored, loathed, or dismissed as "not good enough".

But I can't let my fear that my unrealistic desires will never yield good things for me. I have to try!

I don't know if I can do this.

I honestly don't.

But I have to give it a shot.

Yours,
Sylvan (Dave)