FA+
Shop
|Everyone should watch this|
6 years ago
Hello bunbuns!
This is not the usual journal you would expect, so bear with me.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━·☆·━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
My dearest irl friend, 
send me a video this morning that for both of us, as full time artists, has a lot of meaning and we can relate at most of it for sure-
The artist is Astri Lohne, and you might have heard of her, or at least stumbled on her artwork around social media.
You can access the video bellow, it is on Youtube, so don't be afraid to be redirected to a weird site or so
Feeling Like Your Art is Never Good Enough
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━·☆·━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
The truth is that I can relate with all she is saying 100%
Most of the times I feel that I'm not good enough and my art sucks
When working on a commissions I feel that it really sucks and that I'm ashamed of the outcome
Even tho I have the best commissioners in the world, that always support my art and be happy with what I come up with, I honestly feel that it is not worth.
I probably think that, some of you, my most beloved commissioners, get tired of me saying "thank you", and that I'm happy that you like my artwork, but that is because I appreciate it very much since I have NO idea how much my art is worth, or even if it is worth something tbh. I often think my commission prices are very high, but being an artist who lives from her art keeps me from decreasing the rates.
I stress myself a lot for delivering the best in a short time; suffering from anxiety and depression doesn't always help, and adds fire to the whole situation itself. I taught myself to take time with commissions, but my brain always go back to the time I finished a commission in a time record, just so I could hate it and be embarrassed to post it online - and this is what I try to remember every time I start to stress the shit out of myself. I don't want to draw something that I'm not happy with, much less to be delivered as a final product to my commissioner. But you can probably notice that my artstyle changed a lot from the beginning of the year, and for that, I'm grateful.
I learned to look back at my old artworks in order to force myself to acknowledge that I actually improved A LOT! but then again, I still think I could to better.
" If the client is happy with me, I should be happy with me"
I really want to try to think that way, but it is quite hard, and I know I shouldn't beat myself, but this is the way I am and I will probably not going to change.
It is not my intention to seek for sympathy with this post, but to write down something that can hit hard to some artists out there.
I guess the best thing I can take out of this whole situation is that I will always stay humble, and never charge 5k for a single commission //shots fired
And most important, I will never forget from where I came and who help me reach the stage I'm in today!
Being part of this community was the most amazing step I took 2 years ago, when I had NO CLUE how to draw a furry whatsoever aha I struggled a lot, but seeing where I am now, I need to thank all of you who never gave up on me and keep helping me on this journey.
To all my commissioners, I thank you as well for your trust in my work, it means sooo damn much! To all my supporters, you are equally important with all the wonderful words you send me, I might not reply most of the times due my anxiety, but I will always cherish the support you give me!!!
With all that said, hope you can take a look at the video, even tho you are not an artist yourself, you can learn a bit from it c:
❤Support me on Patreon❤
❤Offer me a Koffee❤
❤Tips Jar❤ 
I believe that it is something that I should try doing as well since some of the advice is good for all walks of struggles in my opinion.
So thank you so much for sharing this - I added it to my favourites just so I could listen to it again when I feel like beating myself up/not feeling good enough/unable to see the value in the things that I do.
I hope that you are able to take some of these tips and find love/enjoyment/happiness with your work as well Ellis. You do amazing work and I'll continue to believe so. I hope to continue to see your growth as an artist!