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Well, it's been a fun year
6 years ago
Oh man,things have been interesting.
I got real and proper insurance. Thus began the search for a doctor that specializes behavioral issues and trying to find a psychiatrist and start looking into neurologists for other unrelated things. Keeping my psychotherapist because I feel she's done a ton for me these past 8 month or so.
After a couple of months of just not hearing back we finally got an appointment with a doctor, awesome! I get there, tell her I'm looking to treat my ADHD and be tested for anxiety and depression. We didn't even get to the anxiety or ADHD. She started talking to me about depression, what kind of thoughts I had and such. It led to her becoming completely and utterly convinced I'm a danger to myself. Either my husband needed to take me to the ER and get me admitted or sign a waiver.
So I ended up in the VHS ward for 24 hours. I want to be clear I have never attempted anything. Simply have some dark thoughts. It was quickly realized I am not suicidal, the psychologist told me that talking about those dark thoughts would get me detained though so keep hush hush unless I'm actively considering hurting myself. However, I definitely need to see a psychiatrist
Ended up staying overnight so I could see the in-patient psychiatrist, she figured that'd be the quickest route.
It was all very draining and traumatic. I get the fun of trying to find another doctor.
It was a blessing in disguise though. I got some diagnosis so I'm finally treating some of my issues that weren't diagnosed before, and thanks to the hospitals social services I was able to get into an out-patient psychiatrist in full and proper much quicker than I would have on my own. I might switch psychiatrists but the foots already in the door.
Downside, everyone still sees me as a threat to myself despite the worst I've ever done is bite myself. It's not a nice feeling.
We're not treating the ADHD, which is understandable but something that's been high on my priority list for awhile. My thought process being if I could focus and get stuff done that'd help my depression a ton. They don't want to throw a stimulant on my anxiety, and my anxiety is what concerns them the most. Which is fair, still a little disappointed that my plan didn't happen though. Especially because stimulants kick in quickly rather than the several weeks anti-depressants take to fully kick in.
So the goal is to get that to a stable point with the depression and anxiety, especially the anxiety and then we can work on the ADHD according to them. For the first time in years I finally feel like I'm making real strides forward though.
Over the years my hobbies have slowly fallen to the wayside as my mental health declined, art being among them. I'm really hopeful that as this journey continues I'll be able to pick it back up in full. I've been wanting to get my art out there again. To do art consistently, finish things and post it consistently as well. Prove to myself that, yes, I can still do this, I just need a little help getting back on my feet.
I'm hopeful this is the start of it.
I deleted my old journals to have a clean slate. I'm still planning on making another "Goals and how I'm doing" tracker journal though.
I got real and proper insurance. Thus began the search for a doctor that specializes behavioral issues and trying to find a psychiatrist and start looking into neurologists for other unrelated things. Keeping my psychotherapist because I feel she's done a ton for me these past 8 month or so.
After a couple of months of just not hearing back we finally got an appointment with a doctor, awesome! I get there, tell her I'm looking to treat my ADHD and be tested for anxiety and depression. We didn't even get to the anxiety or ADHD. She started talking to me about depression, what kind of thoughts I had and such. It led to her becoming completely and utterly convinced I'm a danger to myself. Either my husband needed to take me to the ER and get me admitted or sign a waiver.
So I ended up in the VHS ward for 24 hours. I want to be clear I have never attempted anything. Simply have some dark thoughts. It was quickly realized I am not suicidal, the psychologist told me that talking about those dark thoughts would get me detained though so keep hush hush unless I'm actively considering hurting myself. However, I definitely need to see a psychiatrist
Ended up staying overnight so I could see the in-patient psychiatrist, she figured that'd be the quickest route.
It was all very draining and traumatic. I get the fun of trying to find another doctor.
It was a blessing in disguise though. I got some diagnosis so I'm finally treating some of my issues that weren't diagnosed before, and thanks to the hospitals social services I was able to get into an out-patient psychiatrist in full and proper much quicker than I would have on my own. I might switch psychiatrists but the foots already in the door.
Downside, everyone still sees me as a threat to myself despite the worst I've ever done is bite myself. It's not a nice feeling.
We're not treating the ADHD, which is understandable but something that's been high on my priority list for awhile. My thought process being if I could focus and get stuff done that'd help my depression a ton. They don't want to throw a stimulant on my anxiety, and my anxiety is what concerns them the most. Which is fair, still a little disappointed that my plan didn't happen though. Especially because stimulants kick in quickly rather than the several weeks anti-depressants take to fully kick in.
So the goal is to get that to a stable point with the depression and anxiety, especially the anxiety and then we can work on the ADHD according to them. For the first time in years I finally feel like I'm making real strides forward though.
Over the years my hobbies have slowly fallen to the wayside as my mental health declined, art being among them. I'm really hopeful that as this journey continues I'll be able to pick it back up in full. I've been wanting to get my art out there again. To do art consistently, finish things and post it consistently as well. Prove to myself that, yes, I can still do this, I just need a little help getting back on my feet.
I'm hopeful this is the start of it.
I deleted my old journals to have a clean slate. I'm still planning on making another "Goals and how I'm doing" tracker journal though.
