I have been having.... an extra level of Hard Time lately, on top of the usual bills stress, i had a diabetes scare that led to two er visits, the second one because the meds they gave me, during the first visit, were wrecking my insides so bad i could not eat without vomiting.... it was painful.... IVs are even more painful. ugh. I like being re-hydrated, made me feel pretty good again but ffffffffff damn IVs. my first IV EVER, THE GIRL DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TOURNIQUET- OR WHATEVER ITS CALLED FOR IV AND BLOODWORK, ANY PLACE BUT THE DAMN NORMAL SPOT ( WHICH YOU C A N T DO WITH ME) SSOOOOO SHE PUT IT IN MY HAND. I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO ACCURATELY DESCRIBE THAT FUCKING PAIN JFC gooooooods thankfully the second visit nurse was clever and was able to find a vein in my elbow with a lower placed band. painful still but infinitely less so. damnit pray i only get clever nurses forever more if i have to get more bloodwork and ivs. I mean, which I probably will, PCP put a recommendation in to a GI doc to help me with this seemingly permanent nausea i've developed, he'll mostly likely want bloodwork too... *grumpy sighs* bitch bitch bitch I hate being permanently sick...

all that while having to deal with the fact my grandmother was overtaken by her brain tumor way faster than i think we all anticipated... yay for emergency flight planning so I could make the funeral... I think im okay? now? I mean not okay okay yet, thinking about Easter without hit me in a tender spot real good... none of the holidays or birthdays will be the same now... we lost our matriarch who usually coordinates and hosted this stuff.... she deteriorated so fast...

uh... tldr: I'm sick, stressed- which is making me more sick, and just had to deal with my grandmother dying *unenthusiastic thumbs up* good times....

I'm... doing better now... stable? at least? I've been offering some impromptu colored sketch on twitter a lot to keep myself afloat while catching up on far-too-long-delayed commissions in my queue. They've been a lot of fun, a lot more fun that my sketch pages that's for sure hahaha. I like twitter lol, I enjoying being able to shit post a lot and find so. many. adorable. animal videoosssss.

Will most likely be moving to somewhere in oregon come the summer, planning to move in with  wielder. muahahahaha be afraid, be very afraid! lol. i need that cheaper rent tho fffffuck. oregon is so much cheaper than cali but seems to still hold a lot of the same safety nets for my income level... cali I love you but I will love you from afar bebe!

uuuh so thats... my life right now? I've still got comms open but there is a slower delay while i trying to get through some of these ref sheets and illustrations that have been eating into what time I have. Sigh, i want to hear back from disability already... IM TOO ANXIOUS I NEED AN UPDATEEEEEE