10 things I'd like to say to people.

1. Shut up. Just fucking shut up. I'm tired of your whining, of you claiming that you can't act the same around me. I never said you were a bad person, I never said you DID ANYTHING FUCKING WRONG. I need to fix some things in my life, and all I need is for you to stand out of the way. I deserve that, considering all the bullshit you put me through day after day. I have so many urges to hurt you it makes me want to hurt myself. Why can't we have a relationship like all the others out there? Maybe it's just your childish way of dealing with problems. Well you know what? Stop shoving them on me. I have enough to deal with. So just BACK THE FUCK OFF.

2. You know, I was dreading the day when you'd come back, when I'd see you every minute of every hour. I wasn't sure if things would be the same; I didn't you if you were the same person you had been for all those years. But now, I can truly say how proud I am to be related to you. It will take a while for me to accept the past, but I'm glad that this has become our present.

3. Do you have any idea how many times people come to me, telling me stories about how your mouthing off behind my back? I have news for you sweetheart: that obsession is over. That infatuation has crumbled. I'm not going to follow after you like some sick puppy wanting scraps. I've treated you as my friend, even my sister for some time now. To have you pull this shit, think that you can just dangle a carrot in front of my nose, makes me wish I never even greeted you with a hello the first time we met. But you know? If I can change, so can you. Make up your mind, because I'm not going to stick around and be dragged through the mud.

4. I love you. Dear God I love you like no other. You are, by far, one of the utmost inspirations in my life. You, my friend, are the stars to my sky. The fish to my ocean. The macaroni to my cheese. It seems like just yesterday I leaned across the bus isle to invade your personal space. And you know? I'm so glad I did. You and me have formed a friendship, a sisterly love like no other. I do not trust those around me with ease, but you've slipped through my radar and under my skin. I'm also convinced you've scratched your claws into my heart and soul. I just want you to know this; no matter what your mood, what you're feeling, how you're acting... I'll never push you away. Because all I can do is hold on tight.

5. Alright, I get that you have a busy life. I get that you're trying to heal from the past. I also get that you now have a girlfriend to look after. But I think it's a bit un-fucking-called for to completely ignore me for 4 weeks straight. I haven't called you in days because I gave up trying. Hearing the endless tone in the receiver makes me feel like that's all our friendship was. An endless dial to an unknown number. So go ahead. Ignore me. pretend I never existed. If that's the case, than give me back my kindness, my heart, my warmth. Give me back all those nights I stayed up with you, talking about our fears and laughing until the stars dimmed and the sun rose. This phone call of a life should be terminated. So you know what? I'm about to hang up.

6. Your face.

7. I've been thinking about us these past couple weeks... what we did, what we've been through, what we crawled out of. Regardless of how amazing it was to have you by my side, how you made me smile, made me laugh, made me happy... you couldn't stop bringing me tears. You just couldn't wrap yourself around the idea that I really, truly loved you. You ran off with chicks left and right, leaving me to wallow in my own sadness. And in some twisted sense, I forgave you. I always came crawling back. It makes me sick just think of it. Like some helpless dog doing tricks for a scrap of trash. Honestly, did you ever love me? Do you know what love is? Or was I just a lengthy one-night stand? Screw you and your apologies. I'm done with 'em.

8. There have been countless times where I've been in tears, alone, wanting nothing but complete silence. But you know? Every time, you seem to get inside my head. You may not even know the situation, what I'm going through, but each time, you call me, just to make sure I'm okay. I listen to your voice on the other end, and through choked sobs and tears, I can smile. It's because I know that you're always there for me, because I do the same for you. I have someone who I can tell my pains and fears, because I do the exact same for them. I'm proud to call you my baby sister.

9. Ever since I moved, it's like our friendship never existed. I love you. I love you so much. We haven't talked in years, and sometimes I wish I could just pick up the phone and say 'hey, come on over.' But by now, the distance between us is much more than physical.

10. You and I are tight, man. We're tight. I'm most definitely making room for you in my closet, so you can come live here. We talk, we share, we hold each others secrets. My family tells me to keep quiet, to hold some information to only ourselves. the same goes for your family, I've seen. But we don't care about that. We share what we can because we know that we won't tell. We are human diaries, getting a kick out of being written on.

Nine Things About Yourself:
1. I'm a mix of Canadian, English, Scottish, Austrian, a few others.
2. Just like going commando, I'm all out for lesbianism.
3. I'm overly affectionate.
4. I have no personal space bubble WHATSOEVER.
5. I hate my chest with a burning passion.
6. I've been referred to as "The Human Diary"
7. I usually connect on a better level with animals than humans.
8. I worry about things I shouldn't even be thinking about.
9. It takes quite a lot for me to get angry at someone.

Eight Ways To Win My Heart:
1. Laugh with me and my flaws
2. Get to know the monster inside instead of relying on what you see.
3. Just be fucking honest with me.
4. Don't dump your problems on me 24-7. I can handle it in small doses.
5. Cuddle with me.
6. Be used to my lack of a personal space bubble.
7. Be okay with PDA
8. I make mistakes, I'm only human. treat me like one. Don't put me on a pedestal.

Seven things that cross your mind a lot:
1. School work needs doing.
2. I wonder if they'll take me out driving later.
3. I feel like cooking.
4. I feel like playing ----.
5. I want a cat so BAAAAD.
6. Does real love even exist anymore?
7. Sex

Six Things You Wish You Never Did:
1. Dated someone who dragged me and my feelings around in the mud.
2. Brought my mother to a session.
3. Got shitfaced 4 or 5 times. [Never doing that again, believe me.]
4. Smiling when inside I'm being torn apart.
5. Had a few one night stands.
6. Having my mentality switch between a 16 year old, a 27 year old, and a 6 year old.

Five Turn Offs:
1. Problem dumping on a massive scale.
2. Introvertedness
3. Whining
4. Being obsessed with their body
5. Non-constructive criticism on any level

Four Turn Ons:
1. Dyed hair --> enough to be able to grab
2. Piercings
3. Smaller chest than my own.
4. Tongues

Three Smileys That Describe Your Life:
1. C:
2. -_-
3. ];

Two Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. Find someone who'll truly love me, and even love my flaws.
2. Watch the Northern Lights in the Northwest Territories.

One Confession:
1. Sometimes I feel so shitty on the inside, that I have to plaster a fake smile on my face and pretend like nothing's wrong. I've only ever had one person see through it. When I say "I'm fine, really.", all she did was look me in the eyes and said "Stop lying." But now that she's not around as much, people go by without a care in the world. Because I can't learn to handle my problems, I've developed certain psychological illnesses that are in the process of being "cured."