You got a hammer, a midget, and a roulette wheel. What are your plans for the evening?

set the roulette wheel on the ground, force the midget to run around it, grab the hammer and chase him while dressed as mario :3

XD

If you for whatever reason, decided (or had to) to kill a friend or significant other.

How would you go about doing it, and how would you hide/dispose of the body?



ummm... I mean... do we use it in our daily life... no that's 20 Questions...


uh... I know!

Are you absolutely sure there are no "wrong questions", so to speak?

hmmm... if i had to kill off a person close to me, i'd make it seem natural. First off, i'd know where they live and make sure that nobody was suspicious of me or thought that i could possibly do it *basically all my relatives and friends in rl :3*. then, i'd arrange a get together at their house/apartment to get inside. while inside, i'd excuse myself for the bathroom. i'd take a pill that makes me pass out later on, like a sedative. i'd be talking, go to a chair or couch, and pass out, not to wake up until precisely 4-6 hours afterwards, basically early morning. i'd go to the gas pipe thing, unscrew it to allow for gas to leak out VERY slowly, and finally leave. the person would use a match or turn on a sparky/fire producing appliance and blow up the place. cause of death: faulty pipes. the family/I get money from the death by suing the apartment *if that is an apartment* and i get rid of the body with no suspicions ^^ (yeah, i plan these kinds of things A LOT, but i'm never going to go through with them)

also, nothing is off bounds unless i say so :3 i won't know if a question is off limits until i hear it :3

ah...

If you had to rob a bank, how would you go about doing it?

Me? I'd go in with silenced weapons, get someone to open the vault, then kill EVERYONE (and I mean everyone), then use the explosives I brought with me to wipe the evidence.

But I'd need a partner or two on that, and a getaway driver...

ok, now this is getting a bit... strange. if i had to rob a bank, i'd take a teller's family hostage, tell them, quietly, that if he/she activated the alarm, the family would die as well as everyone in the building. just fork over the cash when i give you this blank check and all will be well.

yeah, this is starting to seem like psych profile stuff, lol

You are one of those neighborhood vigilantes and you have caught that child molestor everyone's so worried about. Do you turn him in to the police, or do you tie him up somewhere and do any number of horrible things to him?


bah, ignore that, I hate those craptastic ethical questions and I'm too lazy to hit the delete key.

Do you want cake? *holds out a cake*

police and YES *takes cake and shoves it in my mouth* :3

I told you to ignore the first question...

ah um, forgive the pun but... you do realize that the cake is a lye, right? You were supposed to say no...

*holds up lye*

You might be okay if you assume the "Party Escort Submission Position", lol

*should stop referencing that game*

but it isn't :3 mom came home with cake today XD

"There really was a cake" lol

How many penguins do you have to kill in order to be told the secret of the universe?

Beh, I don't even know that, so, ignore it.

Pop quiz hotshot, there's ten naked women armed with machine guns and all but two of them are mind-controlling tentacle monsters from Planet Lyrack IV. How do you find out which two are the real ones?

(that sounds like something on the final exam at a school for alien hunting, lol)

to the penguin question: NONE. the secret of the universe is 42. but kill all the penguins anyways for the hell of it :3

and... look for stretch marks i guess, they'd have to stretch artificial skin in order to fit in the bodies. that or summon chthulu to take the real ones back home for a spanking due to using powers in the human world :3

gee, you like answering questions, don't you?


um...

A kitsune, a piano teacher, and Quentin Tarantino walk into a bar, what's the rest of the joke?


um... oh, I know!

5 + x is fishsticks, fishsticks X 27 = y, x + y is cupcake, wha is the value of y?

yes i do :3

i can't make that funny so... They all hold their heads saying "Damn we're stupid for walking INTO a bar..."

cupcakes = 28x + 135

y = 27x + 135

x = y/27 - 5

I didn't think the math question had an answer, lol

okay, next question.

Say you have 10 stacks of 10 coins each. One stack is counterfeit. A real coin weighs 10 grams and a counterfeit one weighs 11 grams. All the coins look identical. With only one weighing, how can you tell which stack is counterfeit?

Ha, answer that one! ^.^

i'm a mathematician and a scientist, i can find the answers 8D

in rl i wouldn't give a shit and just take all the coins and cash them in for moneys. however, for the sake of the question, here is my answer: there are two cases, both of which are related. it all depends on what makes up the counterfeit coins and what makes up the normal ones. situation 1) if the coins are made of different materails, like iron and steel, then i could just check for magnetic potency and then do a number of tests including heating one coin from each stack to see which one.... holy crap, either way this'll work: if you heat one coin from each stack, no matter what the substance, 9 will burn exactly the same and the other will burn differently :3 the one that burns differently is the counterfeit, and the others are real. YOU ONLY LIMITED THE WEIGHING PROCESS, NOT ANYTHING LIKE THIS :3 (i'm a master at finding loopholes :3)

there was a real answer involving weighing... its in the newspaper article in the kitchen, lol

There's nine people in a house and one of them is murdered. The victim is a coroner. The suspects are a radio DJ, a wealthy businessman, a suburban housewife, a shrine maiden, a cab driver, a schoolgirl, a scientist, and a pizza delivery man. Which one killed the coroner and why?

the scientist because he was me and i needed a fuckin test subject... it happened to kill him. too bad :3

lol, good answer.

you are trapped in a room, men with guns are on the other side trying to bust it down so they can kill you, I dunno, something about running over their friend or something.

You need to escape, but you're four and the fall from the window will most likely kill you.

All you have is a pack of gum, a couple paperclips, a lighter, a printer, a guitar... and a dress. Using only these items, how can you escape?

geh, four stories off the ground

ok... put one stick of gum in my mouth to think *lol*
then i would paperclip/gum the dress to the top of the door and set the dress on fire. i'd take out the wire like stuff from the printer and open the door. i'd leave the printer by the dress to trip them and jump out with the guitar. before i land, i kickspring off the guitar to nullify or lessen the drop damage and run away. :3

ok, now this is getting a bit... strange. if i had to rob a bank, i'd take a teller's family hostage, tell them, quietly, that if he/she activated the alarm, the family would die as well as everyone in the building. just fork over the cash when i give you this blank check and all will be well.

Murder is the best solution according to tvtropes.org. To quote the first paragraph on the entry...

"Essentially there is some sort of problem and immediately someone suggests killing as the solution, despite there being multiple other, better, and more rational solutions."

Hypothetical scenario.

You and two friends are in-flight on your way to Thailand and this large, ugly woman sitting across from you will not stop telling you about her life, job, and many many husbands, its like she just has to tell you her life story...

You and your friends finally decide to kill her, despite there being a number of empty seats that you ask a stewardess to move you to, murder is the best solution after all.

How do you do it without getting caught?

(this question is completely out of the blue)

going on the idea that they serve coffee on planes, i'd wait until she went to the bathroom as fat people usually take longer when taking a shit *lol, generalization and prejudice :3*. i'd take out a pen i brought, snap it in half, use a broken edge to cut part of the ink container off and pour the ink in the coffee.. screw that, she wouldn't drink it DX

ok, i'd sabotage the toilet to where it would lock her in an air tight seal with the vacuum flushing (aka flush when she sits down using a pressure sensitive string system which flushes)... nvm, another plan!

ok, i'd wait until she went to the b-room *again* only this time i would take the salt from the nuts and put it in her drink. she'd take a sip and then immediately have to puke, running to the bathroom where i set it up with the pressure sensitive thing and her hands on the seat trigger it, causing her face to be sucked by the vacuum, suffocating her :3

wow... freak accident... nice

hmm... you answer everything I've asked really well.

You're babysitting in a house, the kids are right in front of you, and when you're checking out the owner's porn collection you see a big scary man with a large butcher's knife.

You run obviously, now do you take the kids with you, or do you decide "every man for himself"?

You could also call the sheriff on your cell phone and hide in the woods, but people who do that usually are found dead. Movie law states that the woods are the death place.

i'm sorry kids, but movie law tells me to leave you alone and run into an open clearing, since Michael Meyers only moves slowly but can apparently teleport places *just like Jason :3* and in an open field, there is nowhere to teleport to :3

anyway, the plan is this: i run from michael and tell the kids to hide in a closet *death trap :3* and i pull out the 9" knife i had on me *yay for knife wielding babysitters :3* so i run out the front door to the middle of the street, which is the nearest area that is open enough to prevent him from sneaking up on me. i call 911 whilst circling around quickly while examining the area clearly. when he shows up to try and kill me, i execute some of my Muay Thai skills and kick his knife out of his hand. i roundhouse kick him in the head, elbow him in the gut, and stab him through the heart. this gives me time to run to the sherrif who no has arrived and gtfo before he is ressurected o.o

well, alot of people don't feel sorry for the kids anyways.

next...

One day you decide you're gonna stage a coup.

Where do you do it, and how do you go about it?

like a coup de'tat?

uh... i wouldn't since i don't have any organizations i belong to and i like the ones that i know :/