*hugs* don't change who you are but accept who you are and embrace it. There will be someone for you but you have to focus on finding the happiness inside you first. Be the you that feels natural and try making new friends. I find making new friends will surprise you with romance in a place you don't expect. Don't force it, just wait and in that time strive to make yourself happy. The rest will come.

My last relationship was abusive and I never thought I would find anyone, let alone someone who would treat me with love and compassion. I gave up and focused on finding myself again, then someone found me and it took me by surprise.

No reason that cannot and will not happen for you. You are worth it, you just have to remind yourself of that.

How can I when I'm unsure who I am? I've worn myself down so much even my foundation is shaky. I want help but don't want it. I'm not even sure which me is the real me anymore

It's a very difficult thing to do and I am so sorry you have to go through it. Is there a time in your life where you were single and happy with how you were living life? Recently I had to reset my life to that point, I quit my job and sold my house. I am now living at my parents and trying to turn my life around. I felt great at first but now too am lost. These things take time and you can't give up. Hang in there and please, always ask for help. There is no shame in it and we all need it at times. Maybe start a list of things you enjoy, no matter how small, build on it until you get a clearer image?

Either way, I am a comment or note away, not sure what your time zone is, I live in the UK, so if I am slow to respond, that could be why, but I will when I see it. Don't give up on you.

Everything that happens, just happens, Raven. Things around us change in some ways but also don't. We find sometimes things more or less interesting, get frustrated and amazed and we tend to have all sorts of emotions going on.

I say you are just fine the way you are. Just do the things that give you a smile, approach all the people that you feel like that make you feel happy to be around with and find the fun in all sorts of things.

Whenever I am unsure about myself, all I need to do is to remind myself that people care about me. Even if some of them sometimes forget about me, it won't change that they did care about me at least at some point and that means that I am fine myself. I just worry too much and get too mad at unlucky moments.

You see, it's better to aim for all the things that bring you positivity, to surround you in all the happy memories and carry them with a smile. You might not realize it always, but you make people smile and they will always wish you the best for it.
So like usual, always keep sharing those smiles and whenever you need somebody to listen to you, I'm happy to to be there with Shiny's jolly bundle of optimism for you. ^_^