Bro being an anxiety overthinking pessimist trying to learn to be a more relaxed nonchalant optimist is hard. This is the exact reason why I don't get any pictures done. I try and do anything creative my brain immediately dismisses the idea until I'm up sitting until 11:00 at night wondering why I didn't get anything done and why I am not improving, and the thing is, I ALWAYS HAVE ADVICE TO GIVE OTHERS THAT HELP THEM OUT OF THEIR SITUATIONS AND I CAN'T EVEN MANAGE MY OWN LIFE, YOU FEEL ME? Picture this. Your on a boat with the sail down just a little, so your floating on the water but not really fast at all, and you could be faster if you just pulled down the damn sail right? RIGHT?! But here's the thing. Instead of walking over and pulling down the sail so you can see yourself travel and succeed, you get up and reach for the sail and instead of grabbing it you just lower your arm and sit back down. Now also picture this. Imagine right next to you, there are two people doing the same thing and they can't figure out why they are stuck in this position. So you yell over at them and tell them they just need to pull the sail down. So they do that and they start going lightyears ahead of you in the water! BUT INSTEAD OF YOU LISTENING TO YOUR OWN ADVICE THAT YOU JUST LITERALLY GAVE TO 2 OTHER PEOPLE TO HELP THEM SUCCEED, YOU JUST SIT BACK DOWN ON THE BOAT AND MOPE AND COMPLAIN ON WHY YOUR BOAT IS STILL MOVING SLOW AND THEIRS IS MOVING FASTER!

IT BLOWS MY MIND HOW ANNOYING MY OWN BRAIN CAN BE TO ME.

"Hey I should make some fan art of this character I really enjoy because the artist I'm drawing it for has boosted my determination to succeed and become and be just like them one day."

Brain: "What? you think (insert artist that I inspire to be like) would really like what you draw? please."

"Yeah you right, let's go play Xbox for 14 HOURS and get mad because artists are passing you by because they actually put in the time to perfect their craft."


It literally gets to the point sometimes where I'm ACTUALLY AFRAID TO DRAW MY OWN DAMN CHARACTERS because of how bad my pessimism is. The only character I actually can draw without getting angry and irritated at myself is Desmond, and hes ME. My brain won't even let me go out of my comfort zone to draw anything new because starring at it for too long makes my eyes burn out of my head because it looks so poorly drawn to me even though I'm trying my hardest. Even when people commission me sometimes I can't even believe it because there are like 30 better artists that I know on this platform who draw so much better then me and their prices aren't even expensive. I've even had people tell me how much they appreciate my art and my characters and this is where I see where that saying "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder." because man I can't stand to look at my art.

I love art so much, to me it's the best expression of creativity we have and I would love nothing more to be apart of this community and so many more for my entire lifetime, but sometimes, I just get these slumps where it's like I compare myself to artists that have been drawing for more than 10 even 20 years and I've only been drawing anthro art for 1 year and 11 months.


This was just a little rant. Sometimes I just gotta let it all out. I won't ever quit drawing, I don't care if I gotta tape a pencil to my hand haha, but sometimes you just get those periods in time where you just can't stand looking at your art.