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i need help
6 years ago
i don't know what to do anymore
my grandfather was in the hospital again for the fourth time this fucking year over the same fucking thing which is his bloodpressure and dehydration.
last month he had a stroke. a mini one, but a stroke all the same. doing the same shit he did today, so he ended up with 211 blood pressure over like, 100 pulse? he had to call an ambulance because my grandmother wasn't home and at my great aunt's aka her sister's and now it's like
my mother wants me to move back in with them. my grandmother wants me to move back in with them. my grandfather WAS okay until the ass licker uncle came in and decided to play devil's advocate since his son has been disowned by our family for his fucking stupidity, and convinced my grandfather not to let me move back in. that i wouldn't make a 'calm environment' to lower his blood pressure.
i'm fucking... this shit didn't even start until i left to move back here and take care of mom. i'm always taking care of my family, and my uncle is ashamed of it because he refuses to do anything for his parents. he refuses to help anyone but himself because he's a stupid selfish prick, and his son is just as bad but he has a criminal record now because he mouthed off to a cop while smoking while driving. he lies about everything. he's literally the bad seed, short of murder he's done just about everything you can think of. he steals, he lies, he does drugs (acid included), he's underaged but he drinks to the point he is an alcoholic already and i'm just
i'm so tired. i'm so lost and tired and i'm forced to live my life on fucking hold for this shit. i'm hurting so badly, i was trying to sleep but this happened and now i can't. i'm shaking. i'm scared. i'm fucking lonely as hell because no one in my family wants me anymore and i'm unsure what that means for me, what i need to be doing. i can't save to move out because i can't get a job anywhere. any art i purchase on here is basically single digit prices and that's it. i stopped buying characters, no one wants to buy the characters i sell, no one wanted my art because the economy is all low priced for anyone who isn't a big name popufur etc, and my mental state won't let me do commission work anymore anyway. it's ruined me, and makes me super anxious, super upset, and it's not worth what little money people give me.
i just need help, and anytime i try and ask for it, i'm ignored or lost in the sea of everyone else complaining. i'm made to feel invalid here, on any art site anyway because i don't want to draw a shit load of furry porn anymore. i'm tired of never drawing for myself, and now my head is to the point i can't. i feel horrible drawing for myself. like i'm a horrible person for not using the only fucking mediocre skill i have to my advantage but -- what sort of advantage is it to spend 4 hours on a piece and only make 10$ for it? i'm 32, i've been doing this for over 17 years. even before deviantart was around probably and i'm
i've had a panic attack already tonight. i've been treated like shit. i just wanted to spend a little time with my boyfriend, go to sleep, and try to enjoy a day off a little bit, but no. no i can't have that. i'm forced to be nothing more than a dogsitting burden by anyone, when i'm the only one who took care of anyone, even at my own health's expense and now...
i don't know what to do.
my grandfather was in the hospital again for the fourth time this fucking year over the same fucking thing which is his bloodpressure and dehydration.
last month he had a stroke. a mini one, but a stroke all the same. doing the same shit he did today, so he ended up with 211 blood pressure over like, 100 pulse? he had to call an ambulance because my grandmother wasn't home and at my great aunt's aka her sister's and now it's like
my mother wants me to move back in with them. my grandmother wants me to move back in with them. my grandfather WAS okay until the ass licker uncle came in and decided to play devil's advocate since his son has been disowned by our family for his fucking stupidity, and convinced my grandfather not to let me move back in. that i wouldn't make a 'calm environment' to lower his blood pressure.
i'm fucking... this shit didn't even start until i left to move back here and take care of mom. i'm always taking care of my family, and my uncle is ashamed of it because he refuses to do anything for his parents. he refuses to help anyone but himself because he's a stupid selfish prick, and his son is just as bad but he has a criminal record now because he mouthed off to a cop while smoking while driving. he lies about everything. he's literally the bad seed, short of murder he's done just about everything you can think of. he steals, he lies, he does drugs (acid included), he's underaged but he drinks to the point he is an alcoholic already and i'm just
i'm so tired. i'm so lost and tired and i'm forced to live my life on fucking hold for this shit. i'm hurting so badly, i was trying to sleep but this happened and now i can't. i'm shaking. i'm scared. i'm fucking lonely as hell because no one in my family wants me anymore and i'm unsure what that means for me, what i need to be doing. i can't save to move out because i can't get a job anywhere. any art i purchase on here is basically single digit prices and that's it. i stopped buying characters, no one wants to buy the characters i sell, no one wanted my art because the economy is all low priced for anyone who isn't a big name popufur etc, and my mental state won't let me do commission work anymore anyway. it's ruined me, and makes me super anxious, super upset, and it's not worth what little money people give me.
i just need help, and anytime i try and ask for it, i'm ignored or lost in the sea of everyone else complaining. i'm made to feel invalid here, on any art site anyway because i don't want to draw a shit load of furry porn anymore. i'm tired of never drawing for myself, and now my head is to the point i can't. i feel horrible drawing for myself. like i'm a horrible person for not using the only fucking mediocre skill i have to my advantage but -- what sort of advantage is it to spend 4 hours on a piece and only make 10$ for it? i'm 32, i've been doing this for over 17 years. even before deviantart was around probably and i'm
i've had a panic attack already tonight. i've been treated like shit. i just wanted to spend a little time with my boyfriend, go to sleep, and try to enjoy a day off a little bit, but no. no i can't have that. i'm forced to be nothing more than a dogsitting burden by anyone, when i'm the only one who took care of anyone, even at my own health's expense and now...
i don't know what to do.
Beyond that...I couldn't really give advice except just general stress sucks and I'd be reporting that Bad Seed whenever you see him fucking around since the Uncle seems oh so 'supportive' of you. And if he's underage and his father is aware of it I believe that might also be a crime if he's under 18?