I don't feel well mentally..

I've struggled with depression for a lot of my life.. this has been a distraction.. a way to cope with it.. but I feel like there's a looming dark bottomless void, toying with me.. every two steps I take forward always there to drag me one step back.. alway inpeeding my progress.. always there to opress me..

In all honesty, I don't know if I'm a good person.. relying on other's worship, approval and fabtasies isn't the healthiest thing to stand on.. and in all honesty I dont know what happens next..

I might just dissapear at one point.. if I do. Know that non of it is your fault dear watcher. Non of it is by your hand.. I've done this to myself and unless I come to terms with it, I'll have to go..

If I do go, don't worry.. I'm not dead, I wouldn't even consider self harm. I just need to be my own person. Close to those who love me for the non online persona I've constructed..