Every day seems to get worse...i dont know why, but I just want to cry atleast once every day but of course I cant. Really what the biggest struggle has been the fact that I have no one to go to, i dont have any friends to talk to well...yet anyways, and dont say just go to events and meets and stuf because i already do that its just anything that makes me anxious, or makes me just want to die, I just have to take it and push through like compressing it into a little ball and I can only take so much of it before I lose it again and again and again but so far the only thing that keeps me sain in my bike, this tablet, and the occasional person who says hi to me, then when i finaly feel like im getting somewhere life just takes another thing from whats left of whats keeping me going like a slap to the face then the torture process of keeping it together starts all over again. The mood swings, suicidal toughs, lack of motivation, lack of interest in everything, but yet here I am, so you know what, FUCK IT if you want to try and kill me you better try your damned best because im not going anywhere until I get somewhere.