who needs sex? life fucks me xD

Very much so! Life is the reason why i say no to sex hahaha$

I dunno how much this will mean to you, but the bumper is non-essential, if you don't need to spend that $500, then don't. You could also probably find a replacement at a junkyard for a fraction of the cost. As long as the headlights are still lined up, worry about the bumper later. I do suggest, since it's split at the bottom, to either tape it back together (straighten the parts obviously), or "drift stitch" them together with some zip strips. You don't even have to be mechanically inclined to do either, those bumpers are held on by a good number of clips/push pins, so... invest in a trim puller (like reverse pliers), and look around junkyards of craigslist for a new bumper, you should be able to get one for like $50 or less if having a non-cracked one means that much to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6hlVoX0B_k

shit im sorry to hear that :C.