Boil a pot of water, put a raw chicken in it for an hour.

Now listen here you little shit...

I forgot to mention, when you're done, don't unboil the water, throw a 60 second boil bag of rice in there, then some baby carrots on a paper plate, and you have yourself what I've eaten almost every night for 5 years

Do you want me to call CPS?

I'm 23, it's too late. You can call gordon ramsy though.

Cajun Chicken Noodle Soup

16 ounces chicken breasts & thigh meat roughly chopped (You can cheat and spend a lot less using a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store and just take out the breasts and thigh meat to chop up)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion diced
1 red/green bell pepper diced
2 celery stalks diced
2 garlic cloves crushed and minced
3 cups chicken broth
3 cups water
3 cups egg noodles uncooked
1 teaspoon cajun seasoning
2 tablespoons fresh parsley chopped
Instructions
In a stock pot, add olive oil over medium heat. Add chicken and cook for 4-5 minutes, turning occasionally, until browned and cooked through. Remove from pan and set aside.
Add onions, bell pepper, and celery to pot. Cook for 5-7 minutes or until onions begin to turn translucent. Add garlic and cook for 1 more minute.
Add chicken broth, water, egg noodles, and cajun seasoning to pot. Bring to a boil, and cook for 6 minutes (or according to your egg noodles package directions for 'al dente').
Add chicken and fresh parsley to pot, stir to combine. Remove from heat and serve

Oooh, I gotta try that one!

Awesome! You'll have to let me know how it turns out!