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An ultimatum
6 years ago
Now that it's November, we have two months left of this year and also this decade. It was around June that I introduced Toothpick, and it was September when I actually went through with it and made him my fursona. My handle is still Meezoo everywhere, but if I can stay Toothpick until the end of the year, I might just change my handle to Toothpick everywhere I'm still active. I've honestly had more fun being Toothpick in the past three months I've had him as my sona than I ever did as Meezoo in the past three or four years I was him. I now have representing me a character I can be every bit as rugged, brooding and laid-back as I actually am in real life. I also get to be Tina's significant other! It's a liberating feeling.
It hasn't been all peaches and cream though. I've poured so much of my energy into doing Tina and Toothpick justice that I'm feeling burnt out, and I've hardly done most of the things I want to do with them. I've been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes world building for these rascally toon birds, but my job keeps getting in the way of me fully realizing that vision. The only good thing to come out of my hours at work is I've been able to commission other artists to draw my characters. I just wish I had more time at home to focus on my own creative pursuits.
On top of that, I'm honestly not sure many people appreciate my presence unless I have artwork to share. My experience on Twitter lately has made me feel like it's not my personality that people follow me for, it's for whenever I post art. I lose followers for sharing opinions, or I get glossed over in Twitter threads, or just generally feel irrelevant unless I'm posting art. That puts a big damper on me. It's made me feel like some sort of organ grinder monkey and less like an actual person.
Anyway, I've made some big changes this year. If I can remain Toothpick well into New Year's Day, that will be my handle going forward. I can only hope that pans out.
It hasn't been all peaches and cream though. I've poured so much of my energy into doing Tina and Toothpick justice that I'm feeling burnt out, and I've hardly done most of the things I want to do with them. I've been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes world building for these rascally toon birds, but my job keeps getting in the way of me fully realizing that vision. The only good thing to come out of my hours at work is I've been able to commission other artists to draw my characters. I just wish I had more time at home to focus on my own creative pursuits.
On top of that, I'm honestly not sure many people appreciate my presence unless I have artwork to share. My experience on Twitter lately has made me feel like it's not my personality that people follow me for, it's for whenever I post art. I lose followers for sharing opinions, or I get glossed over in Twitter threads, or just generally feel irrelevant unless I'm posting art. That puts a big damper on me. It's made me feel like some sort of organ grinder monkey and less like an actual person.
Anyway, I've made some big changes this year. If I can remain Toothpick well into New Year's Day, that will be my handle going forward. I can only hope that pans out.
Firstly, like I said on Discord, I love your new fursona's design as much as Meezoo's! He's brings back very happy memories of my childhood when I look at him, due to his fun 90's cartoon influence. :) I look forward to seeing more of him, especially drawn by you.
And regarding Twitter, I know exactly how you feel. I have that exact same mindset and feel people don't really care much unless I also post artwork. I'm not that outgoing nor talkative either and people mostly just respond to artwork. I think we are looking for validation and approval from others on there, but if we don't care about those things then we wouldn't really be hurt by people not engaging with us. It's something I'm also trying to work on, but wanted to say I relate to your feelings and the same way myself. Don't feel bad and just post things you enjoy, regardless of responses at the end.
This whole thing feels more like a popularity contest and less like an avenue for genuine relationships. Of course, I'm over here with the triple-digit follower count on all of my profiles, so those quadruple-digit follower people still get to snub me and make me feel unimportant. It's a toxic mentality to have, but that's been my experience in the art community.
Keep in mind, however, what you see on social media isnt always accurate and people tend to only post their "highlights". Some of these "popufurs" tend to be highly charismatic and they just know exactly what to say to get to get their high status and follower numbers. That doesnt mean they make very good friends, even if they seem to have a lot. You have to let people appreciate you first and focus on the friends that actually show they care about you and those who check on you often! It's better to have a tiny circle of genuine and real friends, than trying to please popufurs who dont care about us at the end.
Hope you feel better and as I said, I struggle with this too, but slowly working on it. Try not to base your self-worth on other people and how much they talk to you. Hang in there and stay awesome! :D
Since we have each other on Discord, let's chat there more often. I think everything that's needed to be said here has been put quite eloquently at this point.
The problem is I've had this emotional smog follow me around for a while now, and it's hard to be genuinely funny and make people laugh when you feel depressed. I can do things to force out that emotional smog and be happy again, but then that same dark cloud returns. I could stay away from social media and allow that dark cloud to subside, but then loneliness sets in. That's the catch-22 with my online presence.