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So Life
6 years ago
Sucks. The end.
...Okay but really. I finally got a job but for one thing it's seasonal, again, and then there's been such a schedule debacle that I pretty much didn't work a single shift this entire month. Part of that mess was that I was suppose to have top surgery on the 19th but thanks to insurance bs, it got rescheduled to Jan.
So I mean, great that it's not canceled but god fucking damn it did not I not need that emotional blow on top of the shit I'm dealing with daily.
This said stuff I've been rather vague about whenever bringing it up publicly and the why simply put is: Asking for help has backfired on me so many times that talking about my situation has become a nightmare. Even though I want help and NEED help, it just... always somehow blows up in my face. It's beyond emotionally draining for me.
The best I can explain about it is that from about last year to currently, I been coming to terms that my home situation is and has been an emotionally abusive scenario while also having my disability taken advantage of. I've been making some strides in standing up for myself but it's still very hard and terrifying with many missteps. And now that I've also come to accept myself more, gender and sexuality wise, I'm now facing transphobia from my parents on top of the abuse. I had to go through so many loops and holes just to get this surgery arranged because my parents refuse to acknowledge me, my wants, and needs because it's all inconvenient to them and their image of how I should be.
As for my job situation. I've had nothing but seasonal and temporary internships since 2015. That is a complete disaster on a resume. But it's not the only issue. The other has been that I been trying to find positions/places that won't make my mental and physical health take a nose dive WHICH has limited me even more.
Now I could just disregard my health and open up more options with the hope my horrible work history will be overlooked but. I rather not throw myself into a hospital again from the last time I did that?
I been on and off with trying to open a patreon and having a paypal.me and ko-fi. I dropped patreon because I don't have enough energy to churn out content on a set schedule so I've settled on just having the ko-fi for now.
https://ko-fi.com/lukkadev
Now for ShadowPal news. Chapter 8 is in the works. No idea when it will be finished but I am hoping soon, I'm actually kinda hyped for this one and the following chapters compared to the stumble with Chapter 7.
And that's all.
...Okay but really. I finally got a job but for one thing it's seasonal, again, and then there's been such a schedule debacle that I pretty much didn't work a single shift this entire month. Part of that mess was that I was suppose to have top surgery on the 19th but thanks to insurance bs, it got rescheduled to Jan.
So I mean, great that it's not canceled but god fucking damn it did not I not need that emotional blow on top of the shit I'm dealing with daily.
This said stuff I've been rather vague about whenever bringing it up publicly and the why simply put is: Asking for help has backfired on me so many times that talking about my situation has become a nightmare. Even though I want help and NEED help, it just... always somehow blows up in my face. It's beyond emotionally draining for me.
The best I can explain about it is that from about last year to currently, I been coming to terms that my home situation is and has been an emotionally abusive scenario while also having my disability taken advantage of. I've been making some strides in standing up for myself but it's still very hard and terrifying with many missteps. And now that I've also come to accept myself more, gender and sexuality wise, I'm now facing transphobia from my parents on top of the abuse. I had to go through so many loops and holes just to get this surgery arranged because my parents refuse to acknowledge me, my wants, and needs because it's all inconvenient to them and their image of how I should be.
As for my job situation. I've had nothing but seasonal and temporary internships since 2015. That is a complete disaster on a resume. But it's not the only issue. The other has been that I been trying to find positions/places that won't make my mental and physical health take a nose dive WHICH has limited me even more.
Now I could just disregard my health and open up more options with the hope my horrible work history will be overlooked but. I rather not throw myself into a hospital again from the last time I did that?
I been on and off with trying to open a patreon and having a paypal.me and ko-fi. I dropped patreon because I don't have enough energy to churn out content on a set schedule so I've settled on just having the ko-fi for now.
https://ko-fi.com/lukkadev
Now for ShadowPal news. Chapter 8 is in the works. No idea when it will be finished but I am hoping soon, I'm actually kinda hyped for this one and the following chapters compared to the stumble with Chapter 7.
And that's all.
