yup, i'm reopening commissions come mid january, when my grandmother's better.
i went on vacation around the 13th, and on the 16th or so my grandmother fell and not only broke her t-bar from her last broken hip, but the thigh bone shattered not horizontally across, but vertically with at least a quarter of an inch gap between the bone.

i've been driving up to about 2-3 hours three times a week to go see her and come back home at the rehab center where she's getting PT after they replaced the t-bar and fixed her leg, but now comes the true hell of her going back to my abuser's house to stay for a while until she's able to move properly. my grandfather refuses to make the house more handicapable because he feels that she'll just keep asking for more and more changes and he can't afford it and... yeah so instead he's putting her in that hell house.

however comes another problem - fuck if i know how i'm going to pay for gas to go back and forth. i can't live there again, and i refuse to. i'm gone before my abuser even gets home and that's what was agreed upon, but it takes my entire day over there. i can see about bringing my dingy tablet and my laptop with me there to work on things like, sketches, then transfer them to my cintiq computer when i get home but it's just a huge hella fucking piece of crap that i'm exhausted with.

i need to raise money for groceries and gas. my granddad can only help so much and unlike the rest of the family i can't and refuse to come at him with open palms expecting him to just drop money on me, regardless if i'm live in care for my grandmother or not. apparently the insurance company or whatever won't let me actually apply as anything official, so i can't even hunt for work for the move next year.

i'm honestly terrified of opening commissions, because i struggled so hard in the past to get even 30$ for 13 hours of work. times are tough, it sucks but, here's to hoping maybe i can at least dredge up 1$ an hour or something.