For many years, never told many the reasoning for my random outbursts, but I believe I need to say it... I always had these mood swings where one day I can be joyful and other days I'll be depressed & paranoid. I wanna get medicated, so I won't hurt people during my breakdowns.My last doctor was an idiot. She took me off the meds that needed to function when I was 16, so ever since then, my mood swings have effected the ones around me and I hate it. When I try to explain my behavior, many say that I'm guilt tripping and it saddens me and because of that I feel that I am alone, so I never told anyone about my disability cause’ I don’t think they’d understand the pain. Some of my previous friends were weren’t nice as they appeared to be anger me with their rumors cause' they don't know crap about what I'm going through. Everyday of my life is like a battle ground, trying to maintain my common sense and self control. I feel so horrible for those I’ve hurt over the years and I’ve desperately tried to get meds again cause’ I need them to function. I know that some may not forgive for the things I’ve done and I understand, but I hope some can find it in their heart to forgive me and understand the struggle I go through to control my mood swings that will continue until I get meds.


I'm sorry I hid that from most of you from the very start...