FA+
Shop
Life Update
6 years ago
General
Howdy y'all. No idea how to get this started, so I'ma just put it in chunks:
Living Situation: I finally got my own place! My kittens are happy, I'm happy, and in all, it's really calm and is probably a really good choice for me. Thanks to this, I'll find myself being physically active and trying to better my mental health. Getting life started has been rough, but... I'm getting there slowly.
Work: I'd be lying if I told you my current work situation was glamorous. The only things I like about my current work place are my customers, and the work I do. The company I work for boasts Pride Care and Love, but I can tell you that isn't the case for the unit I've worked in. I've been ostracized, accused of lying, disrespected, overworked, and underpaid. Not a good business practice to play favorites. This job has given me so much grief, but I cannot thank it enough for the temperament it gave me, the irreplaceable leadership skills, and the confidence. I loved my job but it just wasn't doing.
Starting January 13th, I'll be an Energy Consultant for an independent company. This will give me more than enough money to sustain myself and my cats comfortably. It's going to be very competitive, as it's goal oriented, team based, and for those who are hungry to move up. I have no doubt I'm a perfect fit, and my interviewer was extremely pleased with how the interview went. I'm ready to seize the day and take up this amazing opportunity.
Art: After I'm in a more stable place, I will actually look into slow-paced schooling. If you haven't guessed, all I've learned up to this point of 10 or so years of drawing is all self taught. What I look to accomplish in art school is time management and basics. I've got a broad idea, but it's time to start piecing it all together.
Mental Health: Yep. Time to dig deep and be completely open and accepting of this. And I'll give you my reasoning in just a moment.
My issues and the affects of them:
Depression (Severe to High Functioning)
- Causes alexithymia: The difficulty of feeling or describing emotions, aka feeling 'numb'
Anxiety
PTSD
-Haphephobia (mild) : The fear or discomfort of being touched or touching others.
Alright, now that that's out of the way...
Living Situation: I finally got my own place! My kittens are happy, I'm happy, and in all, it's really calm and is probably a really good choice for me. Thanks to this, I'll find myself being physically active and trying to better my mental health. Getting life started has been rough, but... I'm getting there slowly.
Work: I'd be lying if I told you my current work situation was glamorous. The only things I like about my current work place are my customers, and the work I do. The company I work for boasts Pride Care and Love, but I can tell you that isn't the case for the unit I've worked in. I've been ostracized, accused of lying, disrespected, overworked, and underpaid. Not a good business practice to play favorites. This job has given me so much grief, but I cannot thank it enough for the temperament it gave me, the irreplaceable leadership skills, and the confidence. I loved my job but it just wasn't doing.
Starting January 13th, I'll be an Energy Consultant for an independent company. This will give me more than enough money to sustain myself and my cats comfortably. It's going to be very competitive, as it's goal oriented, team based, and for those who are hungry to move up. I have no doubt I'm a perfect fit, and my interviewer was extremely pleased with how the interview went. I'm ready to seize the day and take up this amazing opportunity.
Art: After I'm in a more stable place, I will actually look into slow-paced schooling. If you haven't guessed, all I've learned up to this point of 10 or so years of drawing is all self taught. What I look to accomplish in art school is time management and basics. I've got a broad idea, but it's time to start piecing it all together.
Mental Health: Yep. Time to dig deep and be completely open and accepting of this. And I'll give you my reasoning in just a moment.
My issues and the affects of them:
Depression (Severe to High Functioning)
- Causes alexithymia: The difficulty of feeling or describing emotions, aka feeling 'numb'
Anxiety
PTSD
-Haphephobia (mild) : The fear or discomfort of being touched or touching others.
Alright, now that that's out of the way...
I've spent YEARS never wanting to admit my faults. Because I felt it made me weak, that I wouldn't be good enough. I made myself my own enemy and ruined such great, beautiful aspects of my life. It took a storm to realize that it's okay to admit to these illnesses, and it's okay to ask for help.
It's a scary, difficult place. Maybe you don't even think you're worth it. For me, I was comfortable with not being made for this world, that people like me were better off dead. All I was ever good for was falling apart and breaking every single thing I care about.
But that's not the case. I look back now and see so many things I wish I could take back. I don't take apologies. I take change. True forgiveness is better gained when you earn it. I see this not as a downfall, but a chance to make it right, and I intend to do that.
It's hard. I'm not gonna lie, it borderline fukcing sucks. There's so much stress and pressure, but as time goes by, you learn to appreciate the little things: friends that say hello, the way the wind sounds when it goes through the trees, hell, you're so blessed to be alive.
So keep your head up. I know it's hard, I know it sucks. Trust me, some days I just want to quit my job, throw in the towel, and just become a hermit. But it's called the present because it's a gift. Build your future, this is yours, you make this, and it'll be amazing if you just keep your head up.