You are not a bad person/villain at all! ^^
I sometimes feel that way when my anxiety (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) takes place and manifests itself imitating symptoms of Schizophrenia, Epilepsy (seizure disorder) with absence-like spells and hysteria! Anxiety believe it or not... can manifest itself in countless combinations.

I think (but I am no psychiatrist or medical doctor) you might be going through social anxiety. I can understand that.

Don’t let those mind demons (I refer them as “Mind Terrorists”) get you down! :)

Ask/pray to the Heavenly Father to help you get through this rough patch. ^^

You’re not a bad person, those lies about you being bad are that, lies. You’re my friend *Hug*