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Big Problems, Big Changes, an Update into 2020
6 years ago
General
My UPDATED Commission Terms of Service: https://www.dropbox.com/s/vmkm2z0xo.....20TOS.odg?dl=0
My Commission Price Guide: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27268238/
Commission Status: CLOSED
My Commission Price Guide: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27268238/
Commission Status: CLOSED
Last night, I ended up in such a dark emotional and psychological state that it got very terrifying and serious.
I realized a few things then, things that I had known for a long time, but that I had ignored, buried, and put off.
My physical health and chronic conditions and my extreme mental illness and psychological problems can't be ignored anymore. I have got to do some self care. I have got to listen to myself, and actually give a damn from now on. Even if it makes some people unhappy, disappointed, or even upset and angry. Why should I care about people like that, anyway?
In 2020, I'm going to have to make some big changes. I have to, so I'm going to. Whether those changes are visible or not, I can't really say; just know that they must, and are, going to be happening.
2019 was one of the worst years of my life so far, and trust me, that's REALLY saying something with my past. Almost nothing has worked out, and every day has seemed to bring some new horror, tragedy, mountain of stress, doubt, and fear. I've tried very hard to keep drawing, keep my chin up, stay positive, but that's just not possible now. I've got to face the truth and do something about it, about myself.
Due to my conditions and things that kept happening, I was barely able to touch the RGP Christmas Journal, and that really really bothered me. I feel like I let everyone down, and since something always happens when I try to do one, I have decided that I'm not going to do another one. At least not for a while. I might go to people privately and offer a Random Gift Pic now and then, but I'm sick of letting everyone down. That, and I actually heard that some people say I "rigged" my RGP Journals, which is literally impossible considering the whole idea is that I pick ideas I like and draw them.... like really, wtf xD?
Back on topic. To everyone who has enjoyed my artwork, supported me, listened to me rant and vent, been there for me, been a REAL friend: THANK YOU. It means the world to me and helps me keep going.
So in short, what does all this text mean?
* I'm still going to draw when I can and feel like it, will still post. It's too big a part of my daily life for me to stop, and I do not WANT to stop.
* I'll still try to do YCH's and a few Commissions when I feel up to it/can, because honestly, I need to. But I don't have any idea how often or when those things will happen.
* I'm probably not going to read many of my notes. Don't expect a reply. Notes stress me the hell out. If it's important, I'll bother, but otherwise I'm just too stressed and tired.
* There's a good chance I won't hang around messengers all that much. I will when I feel like it, when I feel like I can handle it.
So yeah. I had to get this out of me, needed to put it into words. I'm going to do my best to improve things, no matter what it takes.
Thank you for all the love and support. I hope you all have a lovely New Years, and that 2020 is a better year for us all.
I realized a few things then, things that I had known for a long time, but that I had ignored, buried, and put off.
My physical health and chronic conditions and my extreme mental illness and psychological problems can't be ignored anymore. I have got to do some self care. I have got to listen to myself, and actually give a damn from now on. Even if it makes some people unhappy, disappointed, or even upset and angry. Why should I care about people like that, anyway?
In 2020, I'm going to have to make some big changes. I have to, so I'm going to. Whether those changes are visible or not, I can't really say; just know that they must, and are, going to be happening.
2019 was one of the worst years of my life so far, and trust me, that's REALLY saying something with my past. Almost nothing has worked out, and every day has seemed to bring some new horror, tragedy, mountain of stress, doubt, and fear. I've tried very hard to keep drawing, keep my chin up, stay positive, but that's just not possible now. I've got to face the truth and do something about it, about myself.
Due to my conditions and things that kept happening, I was barely able to touch the RGP Christmas Journal, and that really really bothered me. I feel like I let everyone down, and since something always happens when I try to do one, I have decided that I'm not going to do another one. At least not for a while. I might go to people privately and offer a Random Gift Pic now and then, but I'm sick of letting everyone down. That, and I actually heard that some people say I "rigged" my RGP Journals, which is literally impossible considering the whole idea is that I pick ideas I like and draw them.... like really, wtf xD?
Back on topic. To everyone who has enjoyed my artwork, supported me, listened to me rant and vent, been there for me, been a REAL friend: THANK YOU. It means the world to me and helps me keep going.
So in short, what does all this text mean?
* I'm still going to draw when I can and feel like it, will still post. It's too big a part of my daily life for me to stop, and I do not WANT to stop.
* I'll still try to do YCH's and a few Commissions when I feel up to it/can, because honestly, I need to. But I don't have any idea how often or when those things will happen.
* I'm probably not going to read many of my notes. Don't expect a reply. Notes stress me the hell out. If it's important, I'll bother, but otherwise I'm just too stressed and tired.
* There's a good chance I won't hang around messengers all that much. I will when I feel like it, when I feel like I can handle it.
So yeah. I had to get this out of me, needed to put it into words. I'm going to do my best to improve things, no matter what it takes.
Thank you for all the love and support. I hope you all have a lovely New Years, and that 2020 is a better year for us all.
I hope you and your family and friends (online and irl) have a Happy New Year 2020 as well ^^
Hope 2020 goes a lot better for you pupper, you got this <3
I'd like to say it will be instant. It wont, finding the right type of treatment and medication takes time as we're all different mentally and physically. But when you find the right one you'll get better. there may be some negatives you hate to it but some things cant change overnight.
I said it once, but I'll say it again. Just find people you can open up too.people who will help you be your best when your even at your worst. I'll gladly share my experiences in private if you ever have any questions.
Just the best I can say is its okay to talk about these things. because bottling them up you trap yourself into one line of thinking, where I found talking about people see things I cant from my negative mindset.
It wasn't easy for me, but i had good friends who kept me going. And I hope you have good friends too. have a happy new year.
Glad to hear you’re making changes that are better for you! You’re going to feel much happier and satisfied with yourself once you start making progress on your mental state. 🤗
Talk to you next year~ 😁
Happy New Year
Maybe i dont know you in person or we dont even talk too much. But i can say: you are a nice guy and you deserve better tjings for you
With that said.....
Your Artwork has been helpful in helping me improve my art skills here's an example: https://twitter.com/VilltirStormr/s.....25163399929858
I'm still taking mental notes on your artwork...... still
As for you mental and psychological well being...... I know what its like all too well -_-
Facing these "issues" head on (like Vikings) is the only cure to mentally and psychologically healing, taking pills or ignoring them is just putting a band aid over a wound....
I have some personal experience with self healing if you have any questions or need a second opinion on a very stubborn emotion, Note me through FA: Beast-Storm or on Twitter: VilltirStormr
In the meantime..... take care, stay safe Qapla' Nomster
as to the scumbags that have the audicity to start picking at something that is literally just you, GIVING to the community. They are not worth your time, and you are best set to just ignore them entirely.
As always, im avaliable if you need to chat/vent/whatever, you know where to find me.
All the best for 2020 buddy <3
But yeah take care of yourself and if you want to vent or something, I can lend an ear.
Happy New Year ^^