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6 years ago
General
Frens
Hey everyone and happy new year! I hope everyone is staying safe and warm, and generally enjoying yourselves ヽ(=^･ω･^=)丿
I've taken a long break from drawing and socializing in 2019. There's a lot in my life that I'm trying to change right now, and I'm not gonna get into it right now but it's a reason I've been so withdrawn this year (and last, to be honest)
Socializing for some reason has become incredibly difficult for me, and I think it kinda circles back to how unhappy I am with my current life situation and how it makes me feel like, weirdly inadequate when I talk to people, and I also have a weird guilt complex that makes my brain irrationally go "IF YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND DRAW/TALK TO PEOPLE THEN YOU CAN GO OUT AND GET A NEW JOB/APARTMENT/DRIVER'S LICENSE" and it's not supposed to be that brutal. I just need to learn how to manage my time and not be SO hard on myself. So, basically, if you've felt ignored or blown off by me at all in recent memory it's entirely my fault for just being a hermit. I also am a huge space case and very often forget that I have messages/comments to respond to, so I apologize for hibernating so much. >< It's really nothing personal, I just suck.
In terms of art, I actually feel better about it and I've found that I suddenly am working faster after taking a long break from it, but I need to get the motivation going still. Very often I'm sitting at my desk and COULD draw but I don't because I'm so bad at actually getting started. With that said, I would like to open up some commission slots soon so I can get my ASS moving on art and be motivated to make art for myself too! It also doesn't help that my room does not have heat so most of the time I just wanna curl up in my warm bed >> (which I will probably do after posting this journal)
In any case, I wanna be active on FA once again because I really feel at home here, it's where a lot of things started for me and I just have always felt safe to be myself. I did a lot of self-discovery through this site and it's partly because I joined it when I was TOO YOUNG to have joined FA but still, ten years have passed and I still always wanna come back to the place that helped me grow majorly as an artist. <3
I've taken a long break from drawing and socializing in 2019. There's a lot in my life that I'm trying to change right now, and I'm not gonna get into it right now but it's a reason I've been so withdrawn this year (and last, to be honest)
Socializing for some reason has become incredibly difficult for me, and I think it kinda circles back to how unhappy I am with my current life situation and how it makes me feel like, weirdly inadequate when I talk to people, and I also have a weird guilt complex that makes my brain irrationally go "IF YOU CAN SIT DOWN AND DRAW/TALK TO PEOPLE THEN YOU CAN GO OUT AND GET A NEW JOB/APARTMENT/DRIVER'S LICENSE" and it's not supposed to be that brutal. I just need to learn how to manage my time and not be SO hard on myself. So, basically, if you've felt ignored or blown off by me at all in recent memory it's entirely my fault for just being a hermit. I also am a huge space case and very often forget that I have messages/comments to respond to, so I apologize for hibernating so much. >< It's really nothing personal, I just suck.
In terms of art, I actually feel better about it and I've found that I suddenly am working faster after taking a long break from it, but I need to get the motivation going still. Very often I'm sitting at my desk and COULD draw but I don't because I'm so bad at actually getting started. With that said, I would like to open up some commission slots soon so I can get my ASS moving on art and be motivated to make art for myself too! It also doesn't help that my room does not have heat so most of the time I just wanna curl up in my warm bed >> (which I will probably do after posting this journal)
In any case, I wanna be active on FA once again because I really feel at home here, it's where a lot of things started for me and I just have always felt safe to be myself. I did a lot of self-discovery through this site and it's partly because I joined it when I was TOO YOUNG to have joined FA but still, ten years have passed and I still always wanna come back to the place that helped me grow majorly as an artist. <3
Ramzyuu
~ramzkun
I feel much in the same boat. Here's hoping to a fresh new start!
