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Its Been a year!
6 years ago
General
Its been a year since I last posted here and what a year it was. I can say for fact since the last post I am doing so much better and I am a happy person! the life style changes and choices I have made have helped me improve myself so much. I guess i could go through things one by one to make it easier.
Body and Mind - I got very low this time last year, I was heart broken and let myself get convinced I was just disposable to others. My mental health and physical health both suffered for this. I gained weight back that I had worked hard to lose the prior year. I was faced with Gallbladder surgery which terrified me. I was putting no effort into myself anymore because I was convinced that no matter how hard I tried it wasn't gonna be enough. so this included doing my hair, make up, and putting nice outfits together. I stopped going out and just closed myself off from the world because it was making me feel like i was wrong. So I finally hit a point that people in my life started to notice this and encouraged me to seek some help and advice. So I did.
The start of healing is always rough at the beginning I felt that I was just dragging a weight around that was trying to pull me back down. I learned a lot about what bothered me Personal fear and etc, that even seven years after my biological father's passing I still had a little grieving I needed to get out. So much had been going on when he passed that I hadn't realized really what had been buried so deep and it was seeping out and effecting me in the here and now. So I started opening up about the relationship I had with my father, talking to people about it and slowly I was able to move on and not just focus on all the bad that happened then and I could remember good times too before he became ill and my world went into chaos. learning to let out that grief and bottled anger took some of that weight that was dragging me down away. I started to physically meet and call people. I have Friends on the internet that I game and talk with on a daily basis and over the past year was given the chance to meet and expand those friendships beyond a screen and it was truly amazing to do that. Reconnected with old friends, I have really been trying to reach out to old friends once again too that I grew away from and its been going well to see them again and get to see their families they have started or what they are into. I now go once a week with local friends to a coffee shop in town and chat and enjoy company for a few hours and catch up on the goings on. We plan one or two adventures a month, like going to historical sites, art museums, various festivals and amusement parks. we are all really different people but we manage to sit over coffee or lunch and compromise out each event.
I am back on the wagon when it comes to my health and food choices, I am eating better and watching portions , I am making positive choices for myself and doing every thing I can to be happy. been going through all my clothing and putting outfits together weekly and practicing with my make up again so yeah its an ongoing process.
Hobbies and Interest - These have changed some and not so much because I have thought about what I love and now prioritized what makes me happy and I enjoy doing. So I love dressing up for ren fare so I do this twice a year if I am lucky and get out my gown and just go have a great time with friends watching shows, listening to the music, going to the joust and walking the market all dressed up. My all time favorite hobby and I do this every time I get a chance and permission is to be a Mermaid! during the summer that is where I can be found in my tail doing lazy circles or speeding around the pool in my tail. I don't have a pod or anyone I really swim with though it would be nice to experience that . my friends go swimming with me though so I am never alone they just don't mermaid and that is cool. I love mermaiding though the jewelry and accessories and all the colorful tails. I have been reluctant to post photos here because I don't know if I should. I could put them in scraps I guess. I love anything to do with the subject of it so if you wanna talk mermaids feel free to hit me up. Fursuiting I still enjoy it though it is no longer a top passion I continue to do it for local events just so I can see the kids happy and playing as long as people continue to enjoy it I will continue to do it. Also Lisa Frank seems to be making its way back and I have been collecting stuff like crazy when I can find it, It was my favorite brand of stationary to use in school and right now for informal letters and cards its my favorite use again so anytime I see and note pad or sticker pack or anything really I grab it and start using it I don't hold on to things in a since of I have all these stickers but I don't want to use them, no I send them cause I like sharing what brings me a little happiness with everyone else.
I am not sure what else I can really add at this time other that Thank you to all my friends that have helped pull me out of the darkness I fell into and thank you for putting up with the outburst and the crying and being the physical and virtual shoulders to lean on over that last year I love you all very much
also thank you to the FA watchers that have hung around for so long I know I don't offer much content but knowing that your all still here and watching means a lot to me so Thank you!
Body and Mind - I got very low this time last year, I was heart broken and let myself get convinced I was just disposable to others. My mental health and physical health both suffered for this. I gained weight back that I had worked hard to lose the prior year. I was faced with Gallbladder surgery which terrified me. I was putting no effort into myself anymore because I was convinced that no matter how hard I tried it wasn't gonna be enough. so this included doing my hair, make up, and putting nice outfits together. I stopped going out and just closed myself off from the world because it was making me feel like i was wrong. So I finally hit a point that people in my life started to notice this and encouraged me to seek some help and advice. So I did.
The start of healing is always rough at the beginning I felt that I was just dragging a weight around that was trying to pull me back down. I learned a lot about what bothered me Personal fear and etc, that even seven years after my biological father's passing I still had a little grieving I needed to get out. So much had been going on when he passed that I hadn't realized really what had been buried so deep and it was seeping out and effecting me in the here and now. So I started opening up about the relationship I had with my father, talking to people about it and slowly I was able to move on and not just focus on all the bad that happened then and I could remember good times too before he became ill and my world went into chaos. learning to let out that grief and bottled anger took some of that weight that was dragging me down away. I started to physically meet and call people. I have Friends on the internet that I game and talk with on a daily basis and over the past year was given the chance to meet and expand those friendships beyond a screen and it was truly amazing to do that. Reconnected with old friends, I have really been trying to reach out to old friends once again too that I grew away from and its been going well to see them again and get to see their families they have started or what they are into. I now go once a week with local friends to a coffee shop in town and chat and enjoy company for a few hours and catch up on the goings on. We plan one or two adventures a month, like going to historical sites, art museums, various festivals and amusement parks. we are all really different people but we manage to sit over coffee or lunch and compromise out each event.
I am back on the wagon when it comes to my health and food choices, I am eating better and watching portions , I am making positive choices for myself and doing every thing I can to be happy. been going through all my clothing and putting outfits together weekly and practicing with my make up again so yeah its an ongoing process.
Hobbies and Interest - These have changed some and not so much because I have thought about what I love and now prioritized what makes me happy and I enjoy doing. So I love dressing up for ren fare so I do this twice a year if I am lucky and get out my gown and just go have a great time with friends watching shows, listening to the music, going to the joust and walking the market all dressed up. My all time favorite hobby and I do this every time I get a chance and permission is to be a Mermaid! during the summer that is where I can be found in my tail doing lazy circles or speeding around the pool in my tail. I don't have a pod or anyone I really swim with though it would be nice to experience that . my friends go swimming with me though so I am never alone they just don't mermaid and that is cool. I love mermaiding though the jewelry and accessories and all the colorful tails. I have been reluctant to post photos here because I don't know if I should. I could put them in scraps I guess. I love anything to do with the subject of it so if you wanna talk mermaids feel free to hit me up. Fursuiting I still enjoy it though it is no longer a top passion I continue to do it for local events just so I can see the kids happy and playing as long as people continue to enjoy it I will continue to do it. Also Lisa Frank seems to be making its way back and I have been collecting stuff like crazy when I can find it, It was my favorite brand of stationary to use in school and right now for informal letters and cards its my favorite use again so anytime I see and note pad or sticker pack or anything really I grab it and start using it I don't hold on to things in a since of I have all these stickers but I don't want to use them, no I send them cause I like sharing what brings me a little happiness with everyone else.
I am not sure what else I can really add at this time other that Thank you to all my friends that have helped pull me out of the darkness I fell into and thank you for putting up with the outburst and the crying and being the physical and virtual shoulders to lean on over that last year I love you all very much
also thank you to the FA watchers that have hung around for so long I know I don't offer much content but knowing that your all still here and watching means a lot to me so Thank you!
Have a great year.