Oh boy, let's see where to begin. Hah.

I was hoping to finally post something regarding this yesterday, since it was my first real day off in a while. But then, well, gigantic DDoS decided this was better left postponed.

So! I guess let's just start from the very beginning: I've spent the last six months becoming progressively more depressed, anxious, withdrawn, self-doubting, negative, and pessimistic in general. I have spent the better part of six years with some form of depression, but until last year was taking medication for it that was tremendously helping.

Well. After being off that medication, thinking I could finally start to care for my emotions on my own, I have spectacularly failed. From February 7th until the 9th I was hospitalized after I finally admitted to myself (and a doctor) that I was suicidal.

I've gotten help. I'm no longer suicidal. I did not attempt suicide. I have resumed my long-stopped anti-depressants.

They've made me...different. Definitely better, but also a bit more 'hyper'. Not physically. It's difficult to describe, I suppose the best way I could explain it would be that I have been given both the happiness and the maturity of someone five years my junior.

This has happened before when I've changed medications like this. I'd like to ask for the patience of my friends and loved ones, because it's just a matter of me needing to figure myself out now that I've gotten a leg up again.

I'm likely to be quite bipolar for some time. Please just, be as patient as you can. I don't mean any of it. I just can't help how I feel some days. I am getting better. I will continue to get better.

This is temporary.