Hey, guys! I haven't been very active (or at least not regularly active) for the past few months, and I'm very sorry about that. I want to explain why, what's going on, and what my plan of action may be going forward.

In August, I managed to get a full-time job as a receptionist at a small veterinary clinic. I knew it would probably take away time from my artwork and limit my ability to market my gallery, communicate, and get eyes on my artwork, but I accepted the job with an optimistic outlook. It was a paycheck I desperately needed, and an opportunity that could potentially help pay for important steps, like getting a car, going back to college, and maybe even getting that degree in Library Science I've always wanted.

Things have gone down-hill, though, as they usually do when working with small businesses. Nepotism, gossip, and general toxicity have made the office a very stressful and unhappy place to work. I love my coworkers at the reception desk and I respect the veterinarian very much, but mistakes have been made. Come April, I will have been without health insurance for a year. My mental and physical health are being affected by the amount of seemingly-neverending grievances and problems, putting me under a level of stress and legal violations no corporate business would let stand. The clinic is struggling to pay their bills and is pinching pennies everywhere they can, including telling me on random days to "plan on not coming in tomorrow".

I may soon lose this job, and I've already begun searching for another. I was taken to the back office yesterday after my lead had already gone home, ganged up on by the one technician we have left and the office manager, while the veterinarian stood uncomfortably in the background. I was blamed for others' mistakes, accused of being a poor team player, told that I'm not thinking, that I shouldn't have to be trained (I suppose I'm supposed to learn the job via osmosis or something?) and informed that if things keep going wrong, then I "may not be a good fit" for the company. The office manager spoke down to me like I was a child. It was revolting, and all I could do was keep saying, "Can you please give me an example of what I'm doing wrong?" "How would you advise I do things differently?" In response, I was not given an answer, but was told I was making excuses and, again, not "thinking" on the job.

What frustrates me the most is that, while I was putting so much energy into this, I was neglecting my artwork, something I'm truly passionate about and would love to do full-time. Without a steady schedule of new work, I've sort of faded into invisibility, and I feel like I'll have to start from scratch if I'm to get any commissions again. People don't know who I am; they just click the link, see my slow, dead gallery and think "This person is barely ever online. Why would I commission them?"

The good news is that I've finally saved up enough to afford a car. Once I have that, I may be able to look into artist alleys as an alternative to online commissions. I'll still need to find a more stable source of income, though, and have pretty much resigned myself to working in retail again. I don't know if I'll have the energy or mental fortitude to work in another office, not so soon after this.

If you have any advice as far as what I can do to revitalize my gallery and add more credibility and appeal to my username as a commission artist, please let me know. I would love nothing more than to draw for others, but I don't even know where to start to get things moving again. I feel like I've lost everything I gained as an artist last year, and it's really demoralizing to think that I worked so hard only to lose what truly mattered to me.

Here's to happier returns, I guess.