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Lose in my family and my extended quietness
6 years ago
General
PEACE GO WITH YOU!!
Enjoy seeing my suit? More of it at:
scars-windblade
Please go to my gofundme:
https://gofund.me/c2a3e4d6
Start of Journal
scars-windblade I know just under two Months ago I posted a bad journal about my depression. There was a second personal part to it I kept from most except my closest, and dearest friends. About 2 days earlier I got a message from my Mom that my father had cancer.
So that really had been effecting me from Christmas till I posted that journal. At christmas me and my mate went to see him. He was extremely sick at the time. So we left early via request to have him goto er. [He didn't.] After the new year he went several times for fluid in the lungs. After the 4th visit it was tested and came back positive for cancer cells.
So in the following weeks he went to the nessicary doctors, and such. It was found he has, and confirmed: Stomach, lung, liver, throat, colon, and POSSIBLY brain and bone. The brain and bone weren't tested for but action speak loudly. Bone because his spine had crumbled to the point where it was being called. "Broken"...
But he was told at the time everything would be a delaying action. The family started making their peace. And he went in for Chemo about 2 weeks after the initial diagnosis. Part of that is tbe house is on quarantine. I being a carrier of MRSA in a dormant form wanted to get to see him. So I did a quick 3 day run to see him. It was as pleasent as one would ask for.
So he goes in for his chemo. It kicked his ass. And this is where we think he realizes he jsnt going to survive this. He was due to have it weekly on fridays. He had his first. Missed the second due to low blood and got it a week later. The following week according to my mom and family he just was so defeated and white.
On Feburary 27th I got the call at 3:30pm my time I got a call from my sister. I never get calls from her. So I knew before I picked up that he was gone. I answered and got the word. Less then 3 hours later i was on the road to Knoxville
I got in super early on Friday and my mom I got our talking done. He went quick and that's what I am going to leave it at.
Please as a request to me, him, and my family: Do Not put anything along the lines of: Praying for him, you, or the sort. Its not what he wanted and not what I need or want.
*takes in a long deep breath and let's out a long hard sigh*
[B] The hard parts[/]
The living will suffer most, and your family will hurt you the worse.
Remember that. It will explain alit when you lose one close to you
The day after he passed we began the long search for the important stuff. Insurance, paperwork, and so forth. We began to find alot of discrepancy in many things. Too many. My mom, sister, and I have a life insurance plan; he didn't. Some Bill's are being paid three times; some not at all. Bill's that were line: "what the actual fuck." Like nearly $50,000 in debt worth of Bill's.
Now this is just Friday. My sister lives in town, and I live 13 hours away. I have two older brothers in Flordia. We for word the middle brother was coming in Sunday. We all agreed that he would be best for the VA, bank, and so forth. So Saturday was for my mom. Gave her sometime alone to grieve, but sister and some other factors took that away.
Sunday happens, and brother gets in. He gets to work, and I am tasked with cooking, and general chores. So my sister comes over with her kids and he is all but insulting my sister. She's always been an joke to everyone cause not so smart.... but he is taking time to hurt her. I finish cooking and find out he is on a keytone diet and refuses to eat.
Monday rolls in and this is the day that..... shit hits the fan. Him and my mom goto the bank. I wake up that day with a massive migraine. So until almost 2 I am stuck in bed. But I get up and push thru to try and do the few chores asked to do. A few friends will tell you around 4 I was wondering where they where. Suddenly they pull in and I go to see if they need help.....
The moment my brother walks in it turns nearly into a fist fight... but it was a full on yelling match. *sighs* the simplest way to put it is this:
She is fucked, and you and your sister are not helping or caring. She cant do anything because of the debt, and you two are only making it worse. Also I am right because I "have jesus" and "you have no idea how to parent."
That. That last part is a trigger for me. Everyone told him afterwards that was the worst thing to even say. Those who know me know why. So after spending 3 hours in basement in tears I go lock myself in room. It's just was easier to avoid him while we both in same house.
So Tuesday comes and I again avoid him like the plague. Had. a bad pain day and was out of action most of it. He and mom went to a steak place that was originally ment for the family to go an celebrate my dads birthday that it was his 69th. But with his attitude me and my sister refused to go. So I went and got a burger. When I got back got the death stare from him again. After he went to bed I apologized to my mom. Apparently he apologized to her for what he said to me. But not to me. X.x
But once he left early Wednesday I got full report......
She is going to lose it all.
The family house. Gone.
Her truck. Gone.
The travel trailer. Gone.
So much more. I couldn't even make a full list. It's that long.
The debt came out to he closer to $100,000. She has been retired on disability for nearly 10 years now. And him was 27ish. He also got some va benefits. But it works out to where she gets $5k a month. But the total accumulation and payment of the debt requires $8k a month. No matter what. She loses it all.
So for the foreseeable future I am not gonna be around much. And making many trips to Knoxville to help
I love you all. And sorry I been so quiet. But uts been hard... and only getting harder.
I will try and be more active, but nothing van be promised...
lilbluefoxie
~lilbluefoxie
Awww papa, i wish i lived closer and could help ya get thru this
Azal
~azal
*hugs* There is nothing I can say but to wish you all the support I can.
