If you care that much about the stories, it's easy to see why you're afraid to post them: you're afraid of getting hurt by people who don't like them. You enjoy them and love them, but once anyone else sees them, well, there's no knowing the response. Other people might love and enjoy them as much as you do, and that would make sharing them even more wonderful. But then, other people might hate it or say things that hurt your feelings and that would hurt a lot.

For a long time, I had this issue. I was always afraid to make something new and post it because I wasn't sure what reaction (if any) it might get. I'm still struggling through it, but I came to the realization that if I didn't do it no one else will and if I don't share it no one else will ever know it exists or, at least, see what it is. And, at the end of the day, I'm not immortal. If I never post something and I die, it dies with me if no one else can see it.

I'm not sure if this will help or not. There are lots of folks, I'm sure, who will say 'just do it' without understanding the monumental leap that is.

It does a lot, thanks. I didn't used to have this problem, but I kept a certain distance from things too. Reading back I think I may get the difference... I "took the safeties off". No triple guessing if something may be cliche in this context, or may be a little sentimental. I may have more to add here but work calls.

I've written a couple of stories that I'm not going to post. I did them for my own satisfaction and enjoyment, sharing them out would probably make me cringe in case someone tore them apart or complained that's not how something is suppose to happen and I just don't want to face that, so they're resigned to hide away somewhere on one of my disks. So I can relate to you on that level.

As for what to do about it, no magical answers there. Take it easy, post if you feel comfortable, don't post it if you don't. Maybe give it to a few select folks to gauge opinion and take it from there. Or go to the extreme, print out one copy, cut it up into sections and hide them in old books in libraries all over the world, but in the current climate, that could be a bit of a challenge.

Thanks. It may be this. I don't know if I want to be going to the library right now. :)

I had thought about the select few, but now that seems to be an even less likely prospect.

Aww, well you're super nice and you're a delightful writer, even just your regular little posts. Don't feel you have to please everyone, but likely those that follow you will enjoy!

put the plate of cookies on the table, those that like cookies will help themselves.

*nods* we've all got stuff like that. been finding my old stuff during confinement, rereading it, and going "I really oughta fix this". but most of MY reasons for not posting it are having been one of the recipients of "go home, ya n00b, you don't know how to do jack" back in the day, and using obscure references younger people don't "get".
my last effort was a 65-page double-sided monster (for me), all written out in longhand.

Aww, I'm actually particularly interested in the obscure references part. I like trying to figure out some of those. I admit I like dropping those in, though often in some immensely horrible pun. Worst one I can remember is recent. Female horse character got injured and has to call it in. I had called them "Night" as a nickname. Without thinking about it I was using tree names for generic streets so it was "Night mare down on Elm Street"

The longhand part is impressive. Some very very old stuff I did that, but I couldn't match my writing speed with how fast I thought up dialog and it became very frustrating. That would be amazingly difficult for me.

and it's printed, to boot, not in cursive. writing in cursive is actually painful for me, as I'm a dyspraxic. also found at least one old gift art intended for you while looking through crap. Unfortunately, I'm in no mood to retype the whole thing, and it uses the characters and AU I created for a pen and paper game over 20 years ago.

Oh I understand. I've printed since late high school, mostly because I found it far easier to study from.

It's an understandable and reasonable fear. It's part of why I don't post any of the art I sometimes manage to draw. And it's all right to be nervous about things like how these ideas so precious and important to you will be received. Being ridiculed or, as bad, being ignored hurts with all the pain of middle-school ostracizing.

I think this is a better place than that, though, and that you have a circle of friends and acquaintances who appreciate your thoughts or, if they don't like them, do appreciate your feelings and will be kind of that. If you don't feel comfortable with my estimate, though, you are the one who is right.

Please do as you feel comfortable. Even if you end up writing stories that you alone read, you are doing a good thing, and that is not a waste.

Thanks. I won't post here mind, because I really don't want the stuff linked back to me. I know there's a wide range of stuff on here. I'd be OK with mediocre or no uptake of something. Pretty used to that. Even negative stuff in some senses is fine. Still remember when I few pics were picked for ridicule by one site (which wasn't that bad, as the things that were "wrong" were features rather than bugs of some stuff I was trying so, no big deal.)

Doing this hasn't been a waste. I've done a better job of setting up multiple hooks in plot lines and character development has been going better IMO. I've certainly upped my editing game as well I think. Its just a matter of the critic that demands productivity right now.

"Whatever, the really worrying thing is it feels like if I can't detach and enjoy what I make less I'll not be able to post anything."

This is interesting. The problem is that you like it all too much to post it? It's too precious to you, perhaps?

Anyway, I think it's all in how you look at it. You could ask yourself: 'What was the point in writing this?' Was the point to express yourself and/or entertain yourself? Then you've done that. If you were writing for yourself, then you've done it, and you don't need to do anything else. Congratulations! [Really, congratulations on writing so much so quickly, it's commendable. :}]

But, on top of that, now that you've accomplished the goal of writing for yourself, what happens to the text now could be said to be moot. It doesn't matter if no one sees it, or if everyone can, because the only audience who really matters - you - has already seen it. But maybe you'd like to know if anyone else out here will find the same meaning in it that you do. Someone else might be terrifically inspired by your work, it might bring them immeasurable joy.

Now, you never actually said that you're afraid to post these things, even though your journal title was 'posting anxiety.' I don't want to assume that you're afraid of what people might think, but that is how it seems. Or perhaps it's that it's all too personal, somehow. But, we don't know who you are. You're posting under a pseudonym in a community of people behind furry masks, this is a world of anonymity - the most open, accepting, understanding and welcoming one I've ever seen.

Still, my point is, as long as you loved it, it doesn't matter if someone else doesn't like it. Someone disliking it does not change how you felt in the recent past, nor should it alter your appreciation for your own work in the present.

But if other people find value in it, that's the real bonus. The value can only go up. It might not be for others, and that doesn't matter, but if anyone else, even just one, enjoys it and it improves their life however minutely [or hugely!], then it's a net positive for you and your work.

You can state, all over your post, that you don't want to hear critique and that if anyone offers it, you won't be listening. Or, you know, you can turn off the comments section.

~

All that aside, you can go ahead and choose to not post those stories you already wrote, recently.

Maybe write something else again with the idea behind it that it IS to be posted, to see if that alters things. Maybe you won't be able to write with that in mind, or maybe you'll automatically make it something you want to show, even if it means less to you.

My point now is that you might just need to get used to the idea of posting your writing again. You could write for a particular friend in the community here, and as long as that one person likes it, it doesn't matter who else sees it or likes it. Ie: Once that friend enjoys it, you won't mind letting others see it.

~

I've rambled long enough.

I suppose I'll close with asking: maybe it's enough that you wrote it and the real question we should be asking is why you have a part of you that will punish you for not 'producing content' or for, seemingly, not posting that content. The internet has been training us to overshare for a while, so don't be ashamed to want to keep some stuff just for yourself, too.

There is a lot to unpack in this. I'm going to really have to think about this. Thank you so much for posting it too. I'm absolutely going to give a longer answer later.

As a follow up now that I'm done for the day... if this is your rambling feel free to ramble any time.

This may sound odd, but as I've been reading this I think I might have figured some of it out. Its not so much the negative reviews (had those, and my job has an aspect of getting my work ripped apart). Perhaps some is. I don't exactly have any confidence in being able to find what people like. What I like often seems quite at odds with that.

There's probably some attachment to characters too. For both its been very easy to write because I've had a very clear idea of the actors. I'd like to use them again, but not want to saddle them with a really bad story. This sounds very odd as I write it though.

I think you're right though. I may pick my point, pull the pin and lob this in somewhere.

Thanks very much for this

You're welcome. :}===<

Wow...
i've.. thought a lot of these things too. Lots of restricting things go on inside my head, this internal dialogue, and simulations of what people will think.
I've recently, the last couple of years have gotten very into the Vilous fandom.. and i've started drawing and writing again too... Writing, just as passionately and motivated as you seem to be.
In these days and times... The best justice you can do for a concept, is to get it onto paper. Do not let it sit somewhere, unwritten.
I've been jotting down snippets and fragments of stories, small events, and all.
I've thought of Psuedonyms too... because much of what i write is very poignant and emotionally difficult, and often times gorey. But when the time comes... i'd still want it all to be posted, even if unfinished and unedited. LET it be imperfect. And remember, we're often our own worst critic. It's just not so.

"While preparing to write the story... the story was never written". Don't let that be you.
(There's even a Hemingway story about that theme)

Update: I hit send finally. At least on a part of the story.