FA+
Shop
More roleplay gripes: The, "Start with an IC post" schloc...
5 years ago
I don't approach with in-character posts anymore, and I'll explain why:
It's an unfortunate habit that a lot of people playing high-interest characters picked up. I say high-interest characters, but if you've ever roleplayed in forums or in chatrooms for longer than three months, you know exactly how visible and in-demand you are as a partner hinges on your sex and orientation. Bi/pan females being the most in demand, with straight men being least priority.
I'm not complaining about that last bit, by the way. "Weh weh no one wants straight men." Well duh. Most internet roleplayers are other straight men, looking for a fantasy across from a woman. Then there's the gay roleplayers; straight men are kinda useless to them. It's just how it is. Folks want the wimmins. Other dudes don't want to sexually roleplay with other dudes, unless they're gay or bi. So if you're a straight guy, you are both the least in demand by others who're going out of their way to find a partner, and the most expected to go hunting. Which means it's a seller's market, not a buyer's.
This in turn gives female characters (not necessarily female players. Huge distinction!) waaaaaaaaaaay more demand in potential offers to roleplay. Offers and compromise go in their direction, from partners the more straight or cis male that they are. That's just how it is.
Well, if you play straight, bi or lesbian female characters, you'll inevitably be propositioned by people who aren't what you're looking for, talk things out, and learn you aren't compatible. So it feels like a big waste of time to have those conversations and get nothing out of them in the end.
So, they reason, they need a way to minimize contact and maximize enjoyment. But they ALSO need a way to be more indirect and subtle about what they're looking for, without just saying, "I WANNA PLAY AS BELLE SWAN THAT MEANS YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO PLAY AS JAEKOB OR EDWARD CULLEN! IT'S A WASTE OF BOTH OUR TIME IF YOU COME AS ANYONE ELSE!" Because they don't want a negative reputation to hold water based on things they have actually, proactively said. "I never said that/you're putting words in my mouth" is a strong denial and defense for being a selfish prick.
So the profiles will often feature little hints that are indirect. "I want to RP with a vampire"/ "I want romance"/ "I want BDSM." / "These very specific things" but also, "Vague more things." And, "Things that, by their very nature, indicate a positive of something and also a negative to others. Yes to squares pegs, (no to circles.) Narrowing down exactly what they're looking for without out and out saying, "I want to play as this canon and I want you to play as this other canon." Some things, they want you to come to the conclusion yourself, bright boy. Come to the conclusion yourself without being proactively prompted and come to them. Because then it's you deciding to just become what they desire with a minimum of effort or prompting on their part.
Also,
"Don't contact me without art!" Because when you want to pigeonhole someone into playing a canon or being wealthy enough to buy commissions for their character (and, conveniently, be potentially willing to buy art for them), you mandate they have character art for their typed character in an imagination based medium.
Now they set themselves as looking, demand IC openers, and wait. By demanding IC openers, it gives them the power to say, "I am not looking for and will simply ignore correspondence that is not exactly what I'm looking for, without even gracing you with a response."
Not having the ability to communicate and ask questions, you're left with being forced to exert the effort into a roleplaying opener pitch with whatever character and scenario you'd like to proposition. For better or worse, because as previously established, you're supposed to infer, "I'm not going to even bother considering anything but exclusively and exactly what I'm vaguing at. Take responsibility and make yourself exactly what I want, or you deserve to be ignored." Exercise caution and, when in doubt, give them what they want with as little compromise on their side as possible. All ambiguities go in their favor, or will disqualify you.
And your punishment for not providing exactly what they're looking for is the risk you take of them simply ignoring it, as if it were never there. Even worse, by ignoring it, it leaves the pitcher waiting, sometimes hours, to see if they'll get a response of any kind. That imposes both an effort and time penalty on the pitcher for not being 100% of what the person receiving wants. That gives the receiver 100% of the power. That forces the pitcher to try and maximize themselves for the success of the pitch, pigeon holing them so as not to have their time and effort wasted.
So if you don't give them 100% of what they want, in addition to optimizing everything about yourself and your character to appeal to them, you may as well be being told to leave the candy, flowers and box of chocolate in the attached mailbox of the Magical Tower of Ambiguity. Is someone inside this tower, waiting to receive you? Did they receive your package? Are they even home and at the keyboard when you sent the message? It's impossible to know! They have a million ways to duck responsibility and claim they just, "never received it!" It's never their fault for not getting your message! They weren't DELIBERATELY trying to waste your time, clearly! The chocolates and flowers might be rejected or just eaten and the proposition ignored, though. It's nice to feel wanted, if you don't get anything out of it, I suppose. Kind of leaves the dude that bought the flowers and chocolates and wasted time and effort in a spot, though.
And if you disconnect or do something else, odds are they won't even register you as worth a response, even if they liked your post. So if you want a response, you wait. You can't even switch to DND and go do something else, because they want immediate gratification when they tap you, and don't want to be left waiting. Unless your character and pitch is 100-120% of what they want, don't even hope for an offline message or note or email (or whatever medium to reach offline people), because you simply aren't even in their peripheral vision anymore.
And some of you have the audacity to go, "Where are all the straight cis human dudes in roleplay anymore!? I just never see them in RP chats! It's like they all died off!"
Well they're kind of stuck in a sort of limbo where what they want to play is irrelevant, since we basically have to make these weird niche custom characters that are so proprietary that some other woman won't be interested in them and they have no "replay value." Because some people reasoned they could get and demand commitment by doing this and convince someone to commit to them without actually asking them to commit.
Yes, you got what you wanted without having to ask for it and burn precious social capital. You don't have to take aaaaaaany responsibility for what you want. But you know whom does?
Why would I make a character that's essentially what someone else is looking for, but also not only compromises everything I'm seeking but removes it from the conversation that isn't allowed to happen, whatsoever? I may as well just make what I'm looking for wholesale and look for people that aren't narcissistic selfish assholes to play with, and are willing to talk to me as more than a magic imaginary fantasy land provider.
"Just send me an IC post/opener!" has become synonymous with, "I want you to feed me like a baby bird, or I will waste your time. Our time together is all about meeeeeeeeeeee! Me me me me meeee!"
It's an unfortunate habit that a lot of people playing high-interest characters picked up. I say high-interest characters, but if you've ever roleplayed in forums or in chatrooms for longer than three months, you know exactly how visible and in-demand you are as a partner hinges on your sex and orientation. Bi/pan females being the most in demand, with straight men being least priority.
I'm not complaining about that last bit, by the way. "Weh weh no one wants straight men." Well duh. Most internet roleplayers are other straight men, looking for a fantasy across from a woman. Then there's the gay roleplayers; straight men are kinda useless to them. It's just how it is. Folks want the wimmins. Other dudes don't want to sexually roleplay with other dudes, unless they're gay or bi. So if you're a straight guy, you are both the least in demand by others who're going out of their way to find a partner, and the most expected to go hunting. Which means it's a seller's market, not a buyer's.
This in turn gives female characters (not necessarily female players. Huge distinction!) waaaaaaaaaaay more demand in potential offers to roleplay. Offers and compromise go in their direction, from partners the more straight or cis male that they are. That's just how it is.
Well, if you play straight, bi or lesbian female characters, you'll inevitably be propositioned by people who aren't what you're looking for, talk things out, and learn you aren't compatible. So it feels like a big waste of time to have those conversations and get nothing out of them in the end.
So, they reason, they need a way to minimize contact and maximize enjoyment. But they ALSO need a way to be more indirect and subtle about what they're looking for, without just saying, "I WANNA PLAY AS BELLE SWAN THAT MEANS YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO PLAY AS JAEKOB OR EDWARD CULLEN! IT'S A WASTE OF BOTH OUR TIME IF YOU COME AS ANYONE ELSE!" Because they don't want a negative reputation to hold water based on things they have actually, proactively said. "I never said that/you're putting words in my mouth" is a strong denial and defense for being a selfish prick.
So the profiles will often feature little hints that are indirect. "I want to RP with a vampire"/ "I want romance"/ "I want BDSM." / "These very specific things" but also, "Vague more things." And, "Things that, by their very nature, indicate a positive of something and also a negative to others. Yes to squares pegs, (no to circles.) Narrowing down exactly what they're looking for without out and out saying, "I want to play as this canon and I want you to play as this other canon." Some things, they want you to come to the conclusion yourself, bright boy. Come to the conclusion yourself without being proactively prompted and come to them. Because then it's you deciding to just become what they desire with a minimum of effort or prompting on their part.
Also,
"Don't contact me without art!" Because when you want to pigeonhole someone into playing a canon or being wealthy enough to buy commissions for their character (and, conveniently, be potentially willing to buy art for them), you mandate they have character art for their typed character in an imagination based medium.
Now they set themselves as looking, demand IC openers, and wait. By demanding IC openers, it gives them the power to say, "I am not looking for and will simply ignore correspondence that is not exactly what I'm looking for, without even gracing you with a response."
Not having the ability to communicate and ask questions, you're left with being forced to exert the effort into a roleplaying opener pitch with whatever character and scenario you'd like to proposition. For better or worse, because as previously established, you're supposed to infer, "I'm not going to even bother considering anything but exclusively and exactly what I'm vaguing at. Take responsibility and make yourself exactly what I want, or you deserve to be ignored." Exercise caution and, when in doubt, give them what they want with as little compromise on their side as possible. All ambiguities go in their favor, or will disqualify you.
And your punishment for not providing exactly what they're looking for is the risk you take of them simply ignoring it, as if it were never there. Even worse, by ignoring it, it leaves the pitcher waiting, sometimes hours, to see if they'll get a response of any kind. That imposes both an effort and time penalty on the pitcher for not being 100% of what the person receiving wants. That gives the receiver 100% of the power. That forces the pitcher to try and maximize themselves for the success of the pitch, pigeon holing them so as not to have their time and effort wasted.
So if you don't give them 100% of what they want, in addition to optimizing everything about yourself and your character to appeal to them, you may as well be being told to leave the candy, flowers and box of chocolate in the attached mailbox of the Magical Tower of Ambiguity. Is someone inside this tower, waiting to receive you? Did they receive your package? Are they even home and at the keyboard when you sent the message? It's impossible to know! They have a million ways to duck responsibility and claim they just, "never received it!" It's never their fault for not getting your message! They weren't DELIBERATELY trying to waste your time, clearly! The chocolates and flowers might be rejected or just eaten and the proposition ignored, though. It's nice to feel wanted, if you don't get anything out of it, I suppose. Kind of leaves the dude that bought the flowers and chocolates and wasted time and effort in a spot, though.
And if you disconnect or do something else, odds are they won't even register you as worth a response, even if they liked your post. So if you want a response, you wait. You can't even switch to DND and go do something else, because they want immediate gratification when they tap you, and don't want to be left waiting. Unless your character and pitch is 100-120% of what they want, don't even hope for an offline message or note or email (or whatever medium to reach offline people), because you simply aren't even in their peripheral vision anymore.
And some of you have the audacity to go, "Where are all the straight cis human dudes in roleplay anymore!? I just never see them in RP chats! It's like they all died off!"
Well they're kind of stuck in a sort of limbo where what they want to play is irrelevant, since we basically have to make these weird niche custom characters that are so proprietary that some other woman won't be interested in them and they have no "replay value." Because some people reasoned they could get and demand commitment by doing this and convince someone to commit to them without actually asking them to commit.
Yes, you got what you wanted without having to ask for it and burn precious social capital. You don't have to take aaaaaaany responsibility for what you want. But you know whom does?
Why would I make a character that's essentially what someone else is looking for, but also not only compromises everything I'm seeking but removes it from the conversation that isn't allowed to happen, whatsoever? I may as well just make what I'm looking for wholesale and look for people that aren't narcissistic selfish assholes to play with, and are willing to talk to me as more than a magic imaginary fantasy land provider.
"Just send me an IC post/opener!" has become synonymous with, "I want you to feed me like a baby bird, or I will waste your time. Our time together is all about meeeeeeeeeeee! Me me me me meeee!"
