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So...2020 and gallery update
5 years ago
General
Hey folks,
I am still trying to reclaim my brain from this acute depression, albeit slowly. I am making some progress with therapy but it's hard as fuck some days when I'm just treading roiling emotional waters. I know I'm just a random guy who posts tf smut so maybe all this fanfare is a waste of time and I should just stfu and post my work, Idk.
On that note, I've been working on loads of sketches and wips, small stories and fiction since about last year or so, but was never very satisfied with them. I'm debating whether or not to bite the bullet and post them unfinished. Obviously people want 'moar arts' and im constantly aspiring to a higher standard but I'm just tired of plugging away at something that doesn't get much better so this is perhaps a foregone conclusion.
My low mood and procrastination are issues that I struggle with a lot, and I am livid with myself that I can't be a stronger, more resolute person; that my mind is mostly mental fog, poor focus and chronic fatigue. Not being able to create and finish a project only seems to feed into that vicious cycle.
Being stuck at home with this Covid-19 situation means I have more time to draw and write, and I'm getting my therapy via phonecall now so I am really hoping I can spend more time making good art and stories you folks can enjoy.
I started this page with the best of intentions and plans for the future and I've got fuck all to show for it, so I'm sorry guys. Don't want to make this post into a self-pity party, I'm just explaining rather than excusing myself.
Hopefully 2020 will be a more productive and happier year for me.
I am still trying to reclaim my brain from this acute depression, albeit slowly. I am making some progress with therapy but it's hard as fuck some days when I'm just treading roiling emotional waters. I know I'm just a random guy who posts tf smut so maybe all this fanfare is a waste of time and I should just stfu and post my work, Idk.
On that note, I've been working on loads of sketches and wips, small stories and fiction since about last year or so, but was never very satisfied with them. I'm debating whether or not to bite the bullet and post them unfinished. Obviously people want 'moar arts' and im constantly aspiring to a higher standard but I'm just tired of plugging away at something that doesn't get much better so this is perhaps a foregone conclusion.
My low mood and procrastination are issues that I struggle with a lot, and I am livid with myself that I can't be a stronger, more resolute person; that my mind is mostly mental fog, poor focus and chronic fatigue. Not being able to create and finish a project only seems to feed into that vicious cycle.
Being stuck at home with this Covid-19 situation means I have more time to draw and write, and I'm getting my therapy via phonecall now so I am really hoping I can spend more time making good art and stories you folks can enjoy.
I started this page with the best of intentions and plans for the future and I've got fuck all to show for it, so I'm sorry guys. Don't want to make this post into a self-pity party, I'm just explaining rather than excusing myself.
Hopefully 2020 will be a more productive and happier year for me.
Depression's a pain, but I'm glad to hear you're working on it.
It takes time and a conscious effort to not feed old habits, but even the shit days become a lot more doable in time.
Happy to hear you're still sketching and writing. I completely relate with the satisfaction angle of it all too when you're trying to improve yourself technically, it can become very stressful.
It's no longer just the ideas that you're trying to get onto paper, but the execution of it. You can get so wrapped up in just that aspect that it can sour the whole experience.
But if you work with multiple mediums, like drawing and writing for you, it's perfect. If one becomes too much then just switch to the other.
I've been delving into 3D stuff lately and it's been great in that aspect. Drawing will shit me, so I'll just go and sculpt a bit. Or maybe I start to get annoyed at sculpting and rendering something, so I'll switch to sketching to destress. Point is you don't get so caught up on the little things as much, and then you're focusing more on the ideas and not the medium.
They're just creative tools at the end of the day, so use whatever's most comfortable or interesting to you at the time.
And that's it. Gotta approach this stuff with the right mindset.